It was hot, steaming down a
Trickling summer, near the end
Of my innocence, and childhood
For I met the taste of freedom, beneath
The stars and moon that night
And he touched my hand lightly, and my mouth
Quietly, so that I might never forget the feeling of
My youth, and his skin on me
Where we melted together below these shields I held
And here the pain, it felt good, so that I’d always
Remember, and want this everlasting feeling further, yet
You can only love at first, when you know this is wrong
Then you move on to another, who is stronger and wiser
Who treats you beautifully, and makes you sense a woman
Inside your heart, but an adolescent beyond the eyes
I wish I knew him more, so that I could forget the first
This man who stole my inner soul, but made me become
Alive, and blissful, and terribly confused, for once
Obsessed with the flesh, this was all I could think of
More, more, and more did I want to experience the touch
And I knew that the last man was just as blameless as me
For love fell upon me in the final chapter, regrettably, the third
Was the best, and will always be considered my first
Because we gave love, and made love, and that is what mattered, then
And forever more will he be my best friend and my lover, even though
He is gone away, and I may not see him for years or more
But, there he stands, in my dreams and above the tears I’ve shed
In the light that I am no longer myself, but a stranger in my body,
But the person I’ve waited to be my entire life
Taking not from what angel and demon that has possessed me, but rather
What understandings have created my nature