I think it's time to grow up
And that's a lot
Coming from a big fish like me.

I cut out a jagged hole
And yanked off its head
And scraped out its inside
With little abandon as bits of it
Clung under my nails and spattered my knees.

And its smile was crooked when I was done
And its nose off to the side
But we all laughed pretty hard
Because if you don't have looks
Make 'em laugh.

It's October and I've got
Only a few weeks to get my s*** together
And I'm too young to be the woman
Telling herself to lose ten pounds
And never putting in the effort,
But I'm too old to think I look fine
Just the way I am.
(Also Thanksgiving is coming
So f*** all of that).

If I am the big fish
This isn't the story of me
Finding a big pond, but rather
Moving to the pond next door
And settling down because
I guess you can forget how
To swim upstream.
(Also, f*** salmon,
Cocky bastards).

When I was little I smiled
Crooked and got whatever
I wanted, and now the same
Still applies, but I can't figure out
What to ask for.

By the time I add another year
And add another ring
And add another wrinkle
(and probably ten more pounds)
That crooked-grinned pumpkin
Will sink into the porch
And get thrown away

Next Halloween I think
I'll buy just the candy.