They say
a pill
will wash away
the pain

One tiny
spot of
medicine
can rid you
a lifetime
of torment

How?
I ask, can such
a small
thing
hold so much
power?

The effects
of it
linger
for years

It numbs you
sucks out the
bitterness
hiding in your
bones

Replaces dark thoughts
of death and
things
with..
what?

Merry little creatures
who spend their days
dancing, and
singing
Under the
luminescent
rainbow, living
with eternal joy?

Ridiculous
I say
I won’t allow it
it is unnatural
disturbing
even


The chemicals
will stain my
blood
Turning the very core
of my
existence
artificial

I will no longer be
myself
I will have changed

I fear change

It brings unpleasant
unhealthy
surprise

It looks me
in the eye,
the window to
my soul,
and injects the fuel
that nurses my fear

It feeds it
nourishes it
like a mother to a
newborn child
who is helpless
dependent
unable to live
alone

But I am not
new
to this world
I have seen
the scars
heard
the cries, felt
the
burn on my skin
I am not a child
anymore

No longer helpless
dependent, or
weak

Those traits
do not
define me


I have a hidden
valor within
it does not course through
my blood
with confidence
but lives humbly
in my eyes

It moves with a certain
grace, a
silent force
that slowly
but inevitably
reclaims me