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I’m Conscience-Stricken

March 31, 2013
By LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
More by this author
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

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I look at you and I try to walk through,
but you’re a labyrinth.
You blink apprehensively and act like you can’t see me.
My thoughts start to teeter and my face is hot like rum and a fever.
You’re looking gob smacked and take a step back…
I came here with a serene attitude,
but I’m perturbed by the way that you move.
My brain is reeled at the out of order behavior
and not knowing how to react I stood shock still.
Your life used to be picturesque;
how’d it end up like this?
I didn’t realize it’d been such an aeon since I left -
I did not mean to be gone so long, but don’t blame me for your life going wrong.
A request for forgiveness is all I can offer…
I see a yield sign in your eye
and so I assume this is good-bye.
You’ve calculated my assumption and the stab in my back says you’ve strayed from our pack.
I guess holding a friendship is something I lack.

© Harrison L., Ruston, LA

The author's comments:
Take what you will from this poem, my friend. I hope you enjoyed reading it! The picture just symbolizes friendship and how it can be so beautiful and ugly, just like the ocean. Comment & rate if you'd like.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 13 comments.

Metalhead08 GOLD said...
on May. 20 2013 at 9:39 pm
Metalhead08 GOLD, Port Republic, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather hate you for everything you are. Than ever love you for something you are not. " FFDP "You're born alone and you die alone" FFDP "I wonder out where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed." Slipknot " If youre 555 then I am 666"

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Awesome use of imagery, literary devices, and a very interesting format! You are so talented I really enjoy your works!
SoulPoetry PLATINUM said...
on May. 5 2013 at 12:57 pm
SoulPoetry PLATINUM, Sierra Madre, California
29 articles 4 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I will work harder" (animal farm boxer the horse)

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I love your style! The poem really stands out with all the metaphors and such! (The labyrinth metaphor is so true for all of us) This poem flowed so well.. I love your work so much! Keep writing<3
Wings10FeetTall GOLD said...
on May. 2 2013 at 8:49 am
Wings10FeetTall GOLD, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
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May your words be sharp.
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Nobody's going to wait for you, so do it now.
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Idiots rely on luck.
-Sherlock Holmes

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This is awesome! It flows beautifully.
Infinite.Survivor.365 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 7 2013 at 11:17 pm
Infinite.Survivor.365 BRONZE, Bastrop, Texas
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Friendship is deffinetly hard to describe but I feel like your on point with this! props:)
AugustSummerFling PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 7 2013 at 10:37 am
AugustSummerFling PLATINUM, Mylapore, Chennai, Other
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Favorite Quote:
'For you, a thousand times over.' - Hassan, The Kite Runner

A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit.

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This reminded me of some of my broken friendships.. It was very nice :) with a good word choice n a smooth flow :)
thatunknownthing DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 6 2013 at 10:31 am
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
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Struck me as quite an emotional one, this, and your words are well used too, to make up a fine poem for an idea so simple. 
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Apr. 6 2013 at 12:45 am
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
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“I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear.” -Edgar Guest

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Sweet work! I like your modern style and metaphors. The part about the yeild sign in the persons eyes was great! Another part I liked was "My brain reeled out of order at yiur behavior/ and not knowing how toreact I stood shock still." Just great! Keep writing, keep up the good work!
estucker1998 PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 5 2013 at 11:06 pm
estucker1998 PLATINUM, Tuscaloosa, Alabama
20 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
The voracious ambition of humans is never sated by dreams coming true, because of the thought that everything may be done better and again. --John Green, The Fault in Our Stars.

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That was really great and so true! Most poems show friendship as one happy thing, but this doesn't. And i loved that! Keep writing!!
7_Ambitions GOLD said...
on Apr. 5 2013 at 6:38 pm
7_Ambitions GOLD, Bronx, New York
11 articles 0 photos 11 comments
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I really loved this poem , i could feel the emotion, and the vocabulary makes it so much realier, I Loved It
Mckay ELITE said...
on Apr. 5 2013 at 12:53 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

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I'm so happy to have read this new poem from you. I love the language you use—especially in the first sentence "but you're a labyrinth"—aren't we all labryinths so un-decipherable to everyone esle but ourselves—hold on I think I'm having an epiphany for a new poem here. Anyway, I adore your explanation of freindship in this poem. Friendship aren't always rainbows and unicorns, sometimes they're 18-headed dragons that breathe fire. Love this!
-Char SILVER said...
on Apr. 4 2013 at 8:12 pm
-Char SILVER, Apple Valley, California
6 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I see now that the circumstances of ones birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are" -Mewtwo

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This brought a single tear to my eye. It's phenomenal. Keep writing, go you:)
Fallen_ PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 4 2013 at 8:07 pm
Fallen_ PLATINUM, Quakertown, Pennsylvania
25 articles 3 photos 433 comments

Favorite Quote:
" a shattered world is only an opening into a new beginning with laughs, smiles, and love all around enter the world of the light and away from the broken darkness"

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Amazing way to go keep it up :3
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 4 2013 at 5:59 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

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Totally relatable! Great job i know EXACTLY what u mean