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The world

May 2, 2013
By Desiraay GOLD, Billerica, Massachusetts
More by this author
Desiraay GOLD, Billerica, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
It&#039;s sad to think how many people are shocked by honesty and so few by lies<br /> (Changed it up a little from a book I read)

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The world is a scary, lonely and dark place at times
The world can also be
happy and full of light
The world can seem so dreary
The world can also be
full of happiness
The world can be hating on you seem to feel so angry
The world can also
be calm and lovely
Which world do you want....?

© Kailey E., Crownsville, MD

The author's comments:
I dont know..(:
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 4 comments.

Desiraay GOLD said...
on May. 8 2013 at 7:23 pm
Desiraay GOLD, Billerica, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
It&#039;s sad to think how many people are shocked by honesty and so few by lies<br /> (Changed it up a little from a book I read)

View profile
again thanks i really apreciate the advice
Desiraay GOLD said...
on May. 8 2013 at 7:22 pm
Desiraay GOLD, Billerica, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
It&#039;s sad to think how many people are shocked by honesty and so few by lies<br /> (Changed it up a little from a book I read)

View profile
thanks(: that really is good i just try to make it quick n to the point..
Trace.C.Schuelke PLATINUM said...
on May. 8 2013 at 7:14 pm
Trace.C.Schuelke PLATINUM, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
26 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Secrets are secrets for a reason, and some do not wish to see them uncovered. Especially when the secrets are particularly unseemly...&quot;

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Another piece that emphasizes a strong simplicity through shortened structure. Hmm, to be honest, I definitely feel as though there needs to be more elaboration here, something to kick-start the poem and give it a more personal vibe. Maybe, take this poem, and re-work it based around the world in which YOU personally live, and then draw it back to how we all choose our own worlds. It would add a rouch of your humanity to it, while alos retaining a lasting message to all who read it.
Pusheen612 said...
on May. 8 2013 at 7:12 pm
Pusheen612, Lake Oswego, Oregon
0 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn,&quot; -Anne Frank

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It captures the world we live in perfectly. But the conclusion is kinda brief. I would personally make it longer and not a question. But it is just me! :)