Heartbreak | Teen Ink


May 30, 2013
By xxMedievalShadexx GOLD, Deerfield Beach, Florida
xxMedievalShadexx GOLD, Deerfield Beach, Florida
17 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. -Bruce Lee

You always told me I was right,
Even when I was wrong.
You always held me tight,
You were always so strong.

You always made me happy,
Never to sad.
But when you did break my heart,
You felt so bad.

You called me, you pleaded,
You wanted me back.
I almost fell for it,
But was caught in a crack.

They told me not to do it,
But I never did listen.
You made me feel beautiful,
You made me glisten.

You kept feeding me lies,
And telling no truth.
About all of the girls,
All I wanted was proof.

I needed you then,
I need you now.
But you left my presence,
And I still wanna know how.

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This article has 6 comments.

on Apr. 24 2014 at 10:51 am
Nella.Girl97 BRONZE, Ashland, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 437 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart."

This is perfect! I can relate.....i can relate to it all....Thanks for writing this!

Harri SILVER said...
on Feb. 27 2014 at 4:15 pm
Harri SILVER, Auburn Hills, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 63 comments
Not bad. It wouldn't hurt to try using deeper words to better express the feeling, but over all I liked it.

on Feb. 18 2014 at 11:10 am
Crystallite BRONZE, Santa Elena, Other
2 articles 2 photos 347 comments
i like this a lot....lol it brings back memories   

on Feb. 17 2014 at 6:28 pm
Mishamigo DIAMOND, Newton, Kansas
54 articles 28 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
We accept the love we think we deserve.

This is SOOOOO good! :)

Zach_M said...
on Jun. 5 2013 at 5:47 pm
haha I like the flow, but some of the lines didn't have the proper syllables, but i guess that's your style of writing. Besides this being a typical piece... i really enjoyed reading how you felt at a particular time in your life. For you to write about it, shows that it weighed heacy upon you at a particular time in your life. I love your rhyme scheme... and you made your words gleam with a sad beauty; overall you did a great job.

on Jun. 5 2013 at 5:45 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

This is good, i'd say 4/5 stars. Your word choice could be better. Still good tho, good job!