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Diaries MAG

May 25, 2013
By GreyGirl ELITE, Pohang,Kyungbuk, Other
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GreyGirl ELITE, Pohang,Kyungbuk, Other
170 articles 122 photos 391 comments
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Below and deep down,
The sky is still blue,
And there are still weeds to be pulled.

Below and deep down,
I huddle in a boat with no sail,
And watch the birds with gills fly through the sky.

Below and deep down,
It's very lonely.
I was wrong about the mermaids – there
are none.

Below and deep down,
The sky presses down,
And it rains day and night.

© Hannah B., Coronado, CA

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 5 comments.

mereCat PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 16 2013 at 12:05 pm
mereCat PLATINUM, Horsham, Other
46 articles 0 photos 183 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am finally colouring inside the lines I live between"

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Agreed; the last two lines should always be the most powerful and they were, another awesome piece of writing!
GreyGirl ELITE said...
on Dec. 11 2013 at 8:24 pm
GreyGirl ELITE, Pohang,Kyungbuk, Other
170 articles 122 photos 391 comments
View profile
Thanks! :D
TanviKusum DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 2 2013 at 1:41 pm
TanviKusum DIAMOND, Gurgaon, Other
89 articles 4 photos 197 comments

Favorite Quote:
All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers. <br /> Orison Swett Marden<br /> <br /> &quot;The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say.&quot; - Anais Nin<br /> <br /> we speak in hushed voices so as to not wake our memories

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This is a great poem! Congratulations on getting published! :D
TargonTheDragon GOLD said...
on Nov. 14 2013 at 2:08 pm
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.<br /> Then bicycles were chainless,<br /> Carriages were horseless,<br /> And many laws enforceless.<br /> <br /> Next cookery was fireless,<br /> Telegraphy was wireless,<br /> Cigars were nicotineless,<br /> And coffee caffeineless.<br /> <br /> Soon oranges were seedless,<br /> The putting green was weedless,<br /> The college boy was hatless,<br /> The proper diet fatless.<br /> <br /> New motor roads are dustless,<br /> The latest steel is rustless,<br /> Our tennis courts are sodless,<br /> Our new religion &mdash; godless.

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i agree with Mckay. the last line is what held me. 
Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 14 2013 at 3:43 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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The pic is what captured me the most. I've never seen it before. So...bold. I swear that's what I look like in the morning...but not that attractive. -_- I love the poem. And the disappointment you convey, especially when you realize there are no mermaids in the sea, which is disappointing. I like the two last lines: "The sky presses down,/And it rains day and night." Well done.