Grieving Over You | Teen Ink

Grieving Over You

October 9, 2013
By Calliashi SILVER, Litchfield Park, Arizona
Calliashi SILVER, Litchfield Park, Arizona
6 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
The man with the key is king and honey, you should see me in a crown. ~James Moriarty

“This isn’t real.”
“You’re still here.”
“We’re the same.”
Being alone is my greatest fear.
“You’re so stupid!”
“This isn’t fair!”
“You’re so dumb!”
I thought you’d always care.
“I’ll do anything
If you come back.”
“Anything at all.”
Without you I’m gonna crack.
“No more hope.”
“So alone.”
“Never again.”
You left me prone.
“But it’s okay.”
“I’m all right.”
“I forgive you now.”
I’m back in the light.

The author's comments:
This is a poem about going through the process of grieving.

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This article has 6 comments.

on Nov. 14 2013 at 8:13 am
ChristianGuild GOLD, Grand Ledge, Michigan
17 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Perception is reality.

One of my least favorite emotions, and you expressed it with such elegance. 5 Stars! Great Job :)

on Nov. 7 2013 at 3:14 pm
BorderlineGenius777 SILVER, Lewiston, Idaho
7 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most would be content to take their own and depart."- Socrates

I love it. This really hits home with me, as I recently lost my grandmother. I love the way you write it in quotes. Keep it up.

Tamy24 said...
on Oct. 30 2013 at 8:18 pm
Tamy24, Brooklyn, New York
0 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary." Cecil Beaton- note to self

That's a great poem. I could feel the pain that you expressed in this piece. At first you were feeling broken because he left you then at the end you forgave him. That is what love is all about, you learn to forgive the person who hurt and then once you forgive them you move on with your life and be happy. I love how the poem was so structured from sad to happy. Good job, you were born to be a Writer.

Kris_10 GOLD said...
on Oct. 29 2013 at 1:34 pm
Kris_10 GOLD, North Scituate, Rhode Island
10 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." -Theodore Roosevelt

I really like your approach to this. the pattern of three quotes and a longer line is really unusual but creative. i just feel like you could have taken it a little deeper. it feels kind of veige. keep writing!

on Oct. 23 2013 at 11:02 pm
BreakAwayFromMe, Big Island, Other
0 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim." --"Can you Feel My Heart" BMTH

Loved it :) I think it does a really great job of describing the grieving process.... At first I thought the rhymes didn't fit, but when I read it out loud I realized it was perfect c: Wonderful :D

RKing BRONZE said...
on Oct. 17 2013 at 7:59 pm
RKing BRONZE, Abergavenny, Other
4 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Death is not a lover.
Oh yes he is." - The Road

First off, I enjoyed this! I think it's a great way of showing the grieving process, I like the simplistic approach and the structure, but I feel like it goes too fast for the grieving process. It seems like grieving would be a long process whereas this poem is fast paced.
Maybe I'm missing a point here and being really blonde, but I hope this is useful :)
But all in all, I enjoyed this! :)