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Sunshine

November 17, 2013
By Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
More by this author
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

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Bright and sunny, not a cloud in the sky
A day at the beach to watch the time go by
I'm wondering
Watching as the mud crabs burrow in the sand
Listing to the waves as they crush into the land
Feeling the Sun's rays warm me up as I sit in my chair
Tasting the salt in the salty ocean air

The sun is smiling, shining on me
A good book is resting on my left knee
A light breeze brushes my cheek
A pair of sandals dangles off my feet
Next to me, a picnic with a pile of food
An umbrella stands where it was put

But I'm wondering, lost in thought
Something is missing, something i desperately sought
I'm alone, not a soul in sight
Darkness envelops me as I sit in the light

© Sara M., Milford, CT

The author's comments:
Darkness can make a bright day turn black. Brightness can only dull the blackness of depression.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 8 comments.

Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 4 2014 at 7:05 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

View profile
as my motto goes, i will try. thanks for the feedback. 
BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 4 2014 at 6:37 pm
BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
23 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
Albert Einstein

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Well that... I mean... wow, just wow. the last line especially. I love the contrast, but I did feel like it was a little abrupt. Maybe slide into it more, gradually showing the depression through the diction and tone etc., rather thn just jumping straight from happy beach world to the last stanza.
Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 4 2014 at 12:37 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

View profile
thank you, its based on an actual time in my life
Mollybug16 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 3 2014 at 8:52 pm
Mollybug16 BRONZE, Cleveland, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 120 comments

Favorite Quote:
Impossible is not a word, it's just a reason for someone not to try.

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I really love how this rhymes :) I agree with Taconut7 How it starts off happy then gets dark and lonely is a great twist. And I love how descriptive it is, I can so imagine the scene in my head. 5 Stars
Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 2 2014 at 7:59 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

View profile
thank you.
Taconut7 GOLD said...
on Jan. 2 2014 at 2:15 pm
Taconut7 GOLD, Cohasset, Minnesota
17 articles 1 photo 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life's challenges are not to bring you down, they are to help you become a stronger and better person! -Me

"If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will forever live its life believing it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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Nice use of rhyming, and I liked how it started off relaxing and warm but then turned dark and lonely. I liked the imagery you used too (I also like to use imagery in my writings), it really set the scene for me. Great job! 5 stars :)
Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 1 2014 at 7:33 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

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thank you. all my poems are based on real life and expiriences i have had or emotions i have felt. sometimes its harder to see whats inside someone than to envy whats on the outside. 
Alycia. BRONZE said...
on Jan. 1 2014 at 6:55 pm
Alycia. BRONZE, Lower Gwynedd, Pennsylvania
4 articles 8 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.” -- David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

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Great poem! I love how in the beginning everything seems perfect and happy, but in the end, you are all alone and sad because you realize that friendship/company is missing. Good use of rhymes too.