I can't sleep
And maybe it's because of the turbulence that encases my brain
Every time I take a breath in
Or the fact that I'm still spinning,
Even though the room never moved an inch

And I'm feeling tight in my chest
Because I don't know how else to feel
When I worry about why you chose her over me
When I worry about why you ignored the fact that I loved you,
Ignored the fact that all I ever wanted was to know why you were hurting
And you still. Chose. Her.

No matter how many times I tell myself it doesn't matter,
No matter how many times I press the blankets to my ears
And drown my aching head in the pillows
To stop the sound of my own heart beating
It still beats.

It beats like a thousand drums,
A thousand hooves, pounding a thousand races
A thousand tears sliding down a thousand faces

It's beat is wild,
It's beat is loud

So loud in fact, that if I sung above it
If I opened my chest and screamed my lyrics to the universe
If I reached decibel levels far beyond that which seems deafening,

You would still hear it

And you'd know it was me
Because you chose her,
And I'm the only one
That's still awake