When it comes to rape,
My word means nothing.
My power is taken,
My "no" is weightless,
My scream is a whisper.
When it comes to writing,
My word is all there is.
When I write I am all-powerful
And no one but me
Can control the world I've created.
When it comes to rape,
What I feel, what I want
Does not matter.
My will and self-respect crumble away
As I submit to an act that disgusts me.
With writing,
My feelings surge from my heart into my wrist
And from there from my pen to the paper
To make something of worth and beauty.
Rape means pain,
Anger,
Confusion,
Shame,
Frustration,
Guilt,
Violation,
Often all at once.
Writing takes my every emotion
And helps me work through them
So that I can be whole.
To rape is to dehumanize,
And then to deny and try to hide.
But to write is to show humanity
In all of our brokenness,
To expose to others who we really are.
When it comes to rape,
For me choice does not exist.
When it comes to writing,
Without my choice
There exists only
A blank page.