As the night begins to die
I lay awake in a sea of desperate sighs
My mind is like an ocean and I’m drowning in waves of thought
I need to gasp for air
The walls of my lungs are tightening
The beats of my heart steadily slow down
Though I can see the sun above the water
It seems I am still fathoms below the surface
Like exiting from one dream to the next
I disappear from the water and plummet into a hard wooden chair
The room has four blank walls with no doors
On the wall in front on me memories start to play from an old fashion projector
I see the award ceremonies where sons run to their fathers with little smiles the size of worlds holding golden statues in each hand
The gold in my hands turns to roses which I place upon a familiar stone
I try to smile with salt droplets glistening down my cheeks
I miss you like a flower misses rain during a drought
The pain still stings like alcohol on a paper cut
My memories of you clump together and turn to dust
Darkness shrouds my mind and my thoughts dissipate
I am so lost without you; I walk down roads in directions unknown
I wish there were pieces of you that I could hold onto
But all I have left are the recollections of our brief time together
And it rips me apart every time I remember
My mind is at ease while my heart breaks
I will empty this painful tale into a hole I have dug and bury it
There a black rose will grow
That will whisper the story of a boy whose first words were “dad”
And who cried “take me with you”.