I Hope You're Happy | Teen Ink

I Hope You're Happy

February 19, 2014
By KristenNoel ELITE, Mooresville, North Carolina
KristenNoel ELITE, Mooresville, North Carolina
134 articles 0 photos 27 comments

I wish I could be like them,
I wish I could accept myself.
I wish I could just believe in me.
I wish I could stop thinking bad
Things about myself.
I wish I could think I’m
Beautiful, caring, sweet.
Everyone says I am but
I just can’t believe it.
I wish I could just smile
All the time and have
A smile that’s real.
I wish I could understand my
Mind, but I can’t.
I wish I could accomplish my
Dream, but I’m not ready.
I can’t sign off to the
Military yet, I’m only 17.
I can’t say sure! Take
Me away! Wave goodbye
To my family and best friend.
I can’t accept that I have
To go to college first and
Even though I am excited
I just can’t tell myself it’s worth
It to wait. I want to be
There right now but
Boot Camp scares me and
I know I wouldn’t make
It. But worst of all you
Tell me that I can’t because
I’m worthless. You’re
Sexist. You tell me I can’t
Because I’m not intelligent ?Enough because a four-point-oh (4.0)
Isn’t high?
It’s not good enough?
My ASVAB score is an 87, and
Out of 99 and that’s not
High enough? Yet you
Say I can’t go because I’m
A female. I care about
This country and
That’s why I want to go
To the Service. But if
I don’t believe in myself
Because of you,
How will I make it?
How can I make it?
Why am I losing my dream
Of the Military
Because You said I should
Because you said I can’t
Because you said no
So I said no.
Why are you making
Up my mind for me?
Why can’t I do it myself?
I guess I’m just not ready.
I guess I will just go to
College and miss the
Opportunity that
I WANT.
I guess I will just make you satisfied
By acting like I’m happy.
But I’m not.
You crushed my dreams.
The worst part is, you’re
Not my parent,
You’re not my brothers,
In fact, they want me to go
Because I want to go.
You’re not my best friend.
She wants me to
Be happy.
And yet, I’m not.
I’m not happy.
Because you’re the one
Telling me I can’t
When you’re supposed to tell
Me I will,
I can,
I should.
You’re my teacher
With the most
Influence to
Me on the Navy
Because you
Served.
Everyone else tells
Me to go,
And even go now.
But I can’t.
Because
You
Said
No.
Who does that please?
Me? No.
You? No.
You’re only pleased
With those who
Are going
to the
Marines
Air Force
Army
Navy.
Not even the
Reserves.
Not even
National Guard.
You’re only
Happy with everyone
But me.
No one else.
Just me.
And I hate you
For that.
For crushing my
Dreams.
My goals.
My hopes.
My Navy.
And you
Took that
Away.
I hope you’re
Happy.


The author's comments:
Well, this person discouraged me completely from the Navy... because I'm female, and my 4.0 isn't high enough. So now I'm suffering from not reaching my dreams.

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