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Holding too tight
To the boy who broke my heart for the first time,
I was newly 15,
I was alone,
I had given you all I had at the time,
But,
It wasn't enough,
but the girl with the ugly greasy black hair,
who smelt like weed,
with yellow teeth,
was all you wanted.
And, I guess I hurt,
I spent a few nights crying,
I wrote about you more than I should have,
I gave you my all,
even after you didnt want it.
To the boy who broke my heart for the first time,
A few months ago,
if you said you wanted me back,
I wouldn't even have hesitated saying yes.
But, a few months can change a lot.
It can change the way I feel,
what I look like,
and how much I rely on the love we had.
Now its gone,
now I feel beautiful,
and now I don't need you.
To the mother who walked out on me,
I use to wish I was you,
I thought you were pretty and strong,
and as time went on,
so did the pain,
and I despised the name,
you'd given me,
because,
it was the one piece of you,
I couldn't leave behind.
To the mother who walked out on me,
Thank you,
for teaching me how to be strong,
that sometimes,
I only have myself,
for showing me what alcohol, drugs, and sex can do.
Thank you,
for teaching me,
sometimes its better to bite my tongue,
and sometimes,
I have to stand up,
even if I’m afraid.
To the Navy,
You took my dad,
for years on end,
you sent him to countries,
most kids hadn't heard of,
you gave him a uniform,
with pins I use to prick my fingers on,
helping mommy put them on his shirts.
You gave him ribbons,
and certificates,
he wore like badges.
You gave him more than I’m willing to admit.
To the Navy,
I had to grow up because of you,
I had to leave homes,
and schools,
I never had a long time best friend,
and I get to itching and wanting to move,
cause you taught us to be nomads.
You taught us to never hold anything too tight.
That's why when he broke my heart,
I didn't tell anyone,
because it was bound to happen,
when she walked out,
I kept going,
and why I heard what I shouldn't have,
I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.
Because nothing can be held too tight,
or it will surely leave.
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