They said I would be happy again,
If I kept taking the pills,
But pills can only do so much,
For only so long,
They can’t erase my memories,
The memories of all the pain I’ve felt,
All the death I’ve encountered,
All the evil I’ve seen,
They can’t erase my scares,
Seen and unseen,
The pills worked for a while,
And I was happy and forgot all the bad memories,
But eventually they stopped working after a while,
And darkness closed in again,
My parents and doctors keep asking if the pills are still working,
And every time I nod my head yes,
Just to make them think I’m still happy,
But in my head I’m silently screaming,
“No their not can’t you see my pain!”
Every time I go to take them,
I think of taking too much,
And locking myself in my room,
To die silently alone,
Hoping to god no one will notice till it’s too late,
And finally stop the memories running through my mind,
Every time I see a razor I see memories,
Of how great it felt to cut my skin,
I keep my mouth shut about the way I feel,
Cause if they knew then they might put me back in the hospital,
That insufferable place,
The place I felt abandoned,
The time I felt my parents gave up,
Got tired of dealing with me,
Got fed up with my mood,
So they shuffled me off to someone else to take care of me,
But the longer I keep it in,
The more the black abyss opens its mouth,
Till its wide enough and I’m falling,
Falling,
Falling,
Falling ever so slowly,
Falling into a place where the darkness never ends,
Falling into a place where my memories no longer exists,
Falling into a place where my name exists only in your memories.