you’re dead

no other words

you didn’t
“pass on”
or “go to a better place”

you died

plain and simple

not that you’re missing much
because
you know what

life sucks

you know what I’m doing right now
sitting in poetry class
waiting for the teacher to shut up
so I can write something

I’m about to go to my next class
woodshop
I’m so over woodshop
I started my project months ago
and I’m still working on it
screw that

today’s block day
longer periods
at least I don’t have math

when I get home
I have to do homework
then maybe I’ll read for awhile
I’ll eat dinner
go to bed
then wake up again

hit repeat

I’ll make it through school
one day at a time
because I have a dream
I want to be a writer
moonlighting as a lawyer

I’m going to spend most of my life
waiting for my life to start
like everyone else

everyone has big dreams
maybe that’s all they are
but
we go to school
we work for years
get to high school
go to college
graduate school
“higher education”

then our lives start
but do they
we just keep working
trying to make enough money to be
happy
then we wait
for retirement
we don’t want to work
but we spend our entire lives working
if you don’t have enough money
you have to work more
maybe you’ll settle down
relax
build your dream home
your dream family

probably not
you’ll live a mundane life
working somewhere
a factory
gas station
scraping together money for rent

see what you missed out on

all that fun

sometimes I think about how none of it matters
if I die
then why does what I did with my life matter
I could just give up now
I suppose

but I won’t

because I love living
every moment of it
every painful
heartwrenching
terrible
scary
moment of it