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Words
You always ended your letters with “I'll never leave you.”
I ask myself how can four small words have such an effect on me?
They are capable of making me never give up.
Those four words were my personal definition of hope.
They had the ability to change my day;
When I thoughts of these words, I would never worry
because of course you would stay.
Twelve months, 365 days, 52 weeks- including the weekends.
That's how it took you to realize, maybe it just won't work.
Between the fighting, crying, and yelling, I still had your promise engraved into the back of head.
If you wiped away the doubt, insecurities,
and stopped the echo of your last words said,
you would discover those four words carved into my skull.
So, tell me why it is,
adults have the right to criticize the act of falling of love.
They insist our knowledge of an emotion is all twisted
and we have these hormones, these mood swings,
and our hearts only pump lust.
But what if, what if, in that one in a million chance
of really falling in love,
we did?
So, tell me why there is no advice on what to do
if the relationship is ended over a lousy phone call,
filled with a bunch of cliche quotes.
Why is it,
there's no advice
on what to do
to make the feeling
of a heart dropping, go away?
Why is it,
there is no advice
on what to do if he chooses not to stay?
Everything feels unreal.
Maybe I'm stuck in a dream
like the night I awoke from sleep
because in my nightmare
I had lost you
If my pinch myself, will I wake up?
Please, someone, splash a little water on my face-
or hell a whole cup!
I lost a year of my time
because according to you,
nothing ever changes and we always fight.
Don't you dare tell me to stop being so pessimistic, no you lost that right!
I have the letters in my hand.
From the long, deep, passionate ones,
to the short why I love you notes.
I have every single you one wrote.
My fingers crinkling
crumbling, the paper,
I hold my lighter, almost ready to burn all your broken promises,
but my eyes stop on the four words scribbled at the bottom.
In the hand writing, I came so familiar to
were the words, “I'll never leave you”.
You tell me there’s to no easy way to say it,
no sugarcoating to ease the hurt;
You're out of nice words to tell me,
in attempt to be kind,
your feelings may not be the same,
but I never changed my mind.
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