Why should I feel ashamed when you're the one who took something from me that did not have your name on it?
You took at as if it was yours, as if it had always been yours
You looked at my body as if it was something that I belonged to you. Something I owed to you.
But I should never blame myself for someone else’s mistakes – even if those mistakes are carved into my body like battle scars that I never asked for.
1. It is not my fault you didn’t take explore each inch of my thorough body with love and compassion
2. What color are my eyes? You don’t have the slightest clue. You look me in the eyes. You still don’t know. What keeps me up at night? You couldn’t even guess. I've told you this so many times. What do I love more than anything? …You don't even try this time.
3. It is not my fault that you weren't gentle with my fragile insides and shaky bones. Stop shaking. I can’t stop shaking.
4. When you said “I love you” it seemed like a line from a play that you rehearsed over and over a million times.
5. You’re a natural performer because you really had me going with that one.
6. You’ve done this a million times before, so sure of where everything goes and where it doesn’t. I’ve never done this. I have never done anything. You laugh like I made the funniest joke in the world. Relax. You tell me to relax, but if you had only taken the time to get to know me- you’d know relax is not a part of my vocabulary.
7. My eyes began to tear. You told me I was being stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
8. I’ve never been this scared in my life. You can taste the fear on my lips and you don’t even budge. It doesn’t bother you because fear means nothing to you.
9. If you loved me you would. If you loved me you would. IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD.
10. No. If you loved me you WOULDN’T.