Panic Panic Panic | Teen Ink

Panic Panic Panic

August 19, 2014
By lydia.w GOLD, Myerstown, Pennsylvania
lydia.w GOLD, Myerstown, Pennsylvania
11 articles 7 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
I was always an unusual girl.
My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean...
And if I said I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I'd be lying...
Because I was born to be the other woman.
Who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.
Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.


Clouded, scrambled thoughts

Sharp, aching stomach

Hot, flushed face

Shaky hands, shaky arms

It's 3:00 a.m, I want to sleep

But panic, panic, panic

The panic will never stop

Fluttering heart, rushed pulse

All I can do is pase and pase

Back and forth, back and forth

And pray that it might go away

I stumble my way to the bathroom

I feel completely nauseated

But nothing happens

I just sit and wait, sit and wait

I hold my head in my palms

My right leg is uncontrollably shaking

I'm waiting, waiting, waiting

For this episode to end

I'm just wanting to die

I want to know now, is it over?

Can I safely go back to sleep?

I cautiously return to my bed

And I pray it won't ever start again

 


The author's comments:

I wrote this poem wanting to describe panic attacks, or I wanted to at least try to describe my experience with them.


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