"I'm fine"

I tell them

but inside i am breaking

my words get stuck in my throat 

and i choke from the inside

because even my words are clumsy

this is one of my many flaws

i am better at writing down my 

feelings than i am at talking about them

this is another flaw

when someone asks

"How are you today?"

i tell them i am sleepy

it's easier that way

i can't tell myself that i

am beautiful; i rely on others

to tell me i am not

my thoughts are like a speech impediment;

running together so fast that even my

own mind can not begin to comprehend them

my voice goes out, all the time

there is never a day that i am not scared i will lose it

but one good thing comes out of that otherwise hideous voice:

i can sing

i can sing songs and make myself feel better

the notes that flow from my lips create a barrier for me;

a wall that can protect me from those who choose to harm me

and i hold onto it

because i believe that it is a gift

to have something so wonderful

come from someone everyone thought had nothing to offer

because i may not have a lot to give,

but the one thing i can always offer up 

is my voice