look at me darling.
you can’t.
you know.
you know that you left me by the seashore,
with the shells sharp beneath feet,
and sand scratching my skin,
grey clouds gathering.
you knew there was a storm approaching,
yet you left.

look me in the eye love
and tell me you didn’t mean
to hurt me.
you were the princess and I,
well I couldn’t be the princess too,
now could i?
I became the maidservant,
always ready to come when you call,
always ready to give away whatever you needed,
always ready to give you my soul if asked.

you were the princess but
I was far from your knight in shining armor.
I was the horse you road on as you went around
the pastures
and I was the weeds that grew between your toes

but that’s enough
it doesn’t matter what I was,
now I’m just a traveler
with no road to follow.

maybe this time i’ll pave my own road
wouldn’t that be an idea?
would you love me then?
would you come back from your beachside cottage
and lift me up off of the sand?

would you still walk away?
does it even matter what you do?

maybe this time I’ll forge my own crown
and become the princess myself.

maybe I will build a much better kingdom
with much grander horses and maidservants
who don’t make the mistake of falling in love with me
who don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m capable
of being loved.
maybe this time i’ll find a princess of my own.
or maybe I’ll try just being me this time,
in this kingdom i’ve built
on this road I’ve paved
and finally be everything I’ve wanted.

but tonight,
I’ll fall asleep with your name on my lips
and your smile burnt behind my eyelids,
what we could have been playing out
like a film in the dark.