you cannot save somebody
who does not want to be saved.
regret weighs more than I can carry
an endless voice shouting inside my head
do something
yet all I could do was run.
if I couldn’t be by her side
how was she supposed to stand
at all.

she fell into these habits
yet I was too weak to catch her.
sinking deeper,
she was underwater,
her screams lost in the waves.
I saw her drowning,
the ocean reaching out to drag her down,
but I was not brave enough
to jump in the tide.

she wore her heart on her sleeve
maybe that’s why she bled
so much
every time she took a razor to her skin.
the razors scared me, so I hid
watching her tears pour out
as the blood dripped over.

you cannot save somebody
who does not want to be saved.
each day goes by,
and I stand with my friends
laughing,
smiling
but I cant help but wonder
if she wanted to be saved.