To love or not to love,

That is the question.

Whether he likes you or not,

It still hurts to love.

It still hurts to see him every day and know that someday he may leave.

Or you may leave him.

I can't say that I have loved before.

Or at least not like this.

I spend every waking moment thinking about him and what his future has in store for him.

I think about what he likes and what he does and how he acts.

I think about how obnoxiously he laughs when he finds something absolutely hilarious.

I think about how his eyes light up when he talks about composing a new song.

But I don't have him.

And I never expect to have him.

But my closest firends have high hopes for me.

They may be 3 hours away, or 12 hours away, or 18 hours away,

But I tell them a lot about him.

I tell them when I hang out with him.

I tell them when he says something to me.

I tell them how close we have gotten in the last four months.

My best friend thinks he likes me, but I disagree.

He may have asked me to hang out, come to his apartment, and stay the night,

But I am convinced that he doesn't like me as more than a friend.

He has told me more than once that he is not ready for another relationship.

He told me that he's not looking for another relationship.

But my friends think I can convince him to come off haitus.

I still disagree.

I don't have the body.

I don't have the looks.

I don't have the self confidence.

And I am an introvert who hasn't had a boyfriend since she was nine.

It hurts to love when you don't know how to be in a relationship.

To love or not to love,

That is the quesion.