As I sit here at this chair in all my grief,
I wonder just how I should generally be feeling.
I've been comprised of depression and sadness
For quite a long time now.
In fact, there's hardly a time I can remember
Where I wasn't feeling this way.
Music has its healing attributes, and it does help me.
But one outlet just isn't enough.
I need three, four, five, a network of outlets!
I need everything. I want none of it.
I'm a simple man; I have no need for the material.
None of it holds any desire for me.
What I seek is beyond material.
What I seek is enlightenment.
What I seek is not physical.
What I seek is almost spiritual.
Almost corporeal.
Almost there, just beyond the reach.
Almost.
There is too much almost in this world.
There needs to be more definite
Or just not there. Almost is not satisfying.
Almost is not good. Almost is just there.
I need.