sometimes I wonder if all the good parts of me are gone

last year I started putting pictures up on my wall to cover up the spot from where I lost my temper
and I started wearing more turtlenecks because the boy in my art class said he liked them
and I wore more blue velvet because it reminded me of the movie
and the glasses were fake, and they pinched my nose a little, but sometimes I felt like I need something to hide behind
because all this time I spent trying to make up for in personality
what I lacked in beauty
seemed pretty wasted when I stayed around other people for too long

so I started to steal Bibles
and I can’t remember why
I think I just liked the size and the weight of them all in my hands

and I stayed out with strangers
because I knew they didn’t owe me anything
and my friends made me feel lonely
but I needed to know if I still had a good heart –

I know I had one at some point.