I stay silent
Carrying a fire with me
I watch all of the intimacy I do not have
Stay distance stay quiet

Smoking out in the 40 degree rain
Feeling for a moment
That I alone could cause the drop of 10 degrees
My fingers freeze at midnight

I am not addicted
I tell myself
I am not addicted    I am just hungry
For poison

Call me Queen
I am beautiful
But cracking under the picture I have painted of myself
Pay attention notice my fingers shaking

Vodka    sprite    vodka    sprite
I take it all down with twenty pills
Everybody loves me    wants to touch me
Until I am bent over the toilet vomiting out my pride

Queen    tiger    powerful
By one a.m. on Sunday morning I am not sure where to go
But by Monday morning I will be back
Smiling    great weekend    same fake fun memories

Dark lipstick    dark smile    cat eyes
I get into the car and drive for hours
I woke up sad    play it off as mad
I am running away    they only see me charging at them

Say to me that I am fierce
I promise that I am just a broken face in the crowd
A girl with vomit covered fingers
Sweaty    dying    bent over the white toilet

I keep the flame inside of me spreading quickly
Burning my head    crackling inside of my skull
I pull my lighter out and hold it to my skin
Burn until the skin is melted   I am never satisfied

The smell of burnt cigarettes
Makes me ache for it now    I am not reliant I say
Roll the windows down and let cold air grab me
Red lips turn dry wrapped around these infamous rolls

Everybody calls me cold
But I am burning quickly
Worn down from the games my mind plays on itself
You can feel fine for a while    but the aches will come back for you

Tell me how well I fit into winter
I remind myself of sweaty summer
The screams that no one heard
The start of smoke finding a home in my lungs

One more time   I need to know how scary     how pretty    I look
I stay up all night wrapped in black
Wind hitting my face    pushing smoke into my eyes
Tell me   how strong I am