Lightning | Teen Ink

Lightning

April 23, 2015
By GirlofLightning GOLD, Basalt, Colorado
GirlofLightning GOLD, Basalt, Colorado
10 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's only awkward if you make it awkward.


When I walk the halls at school,
I am reminded that lightening
Never fails to stroke more than one person.
When lightning strikes,
I freeze.
My friends, they freeze with me,
And though their eyes don’t roll up,
They are most definitely frozen.
Students and the random passerby freeze too.
Their mouths gape open,
Catching all the rumors that fly down these halls.
The teachers, always the teachers,
Run in circles as if pacing a trench around me
Will keep the fire from spreading.
I am reminded at school that lightning
Never fails to strike more than one person.
I am sitting in class next to people I don’t know.
The teacher asks us to introduce ourselves to our table partner.
Before I can even speak,
The boy next to me turns and says,
“You’re the chick with seizures, aren’t you?”
I could blame the EMTS who rolled me on a gurney
Down a hall full of students
Or the random and painful falls to the floor,
But I mostly blame perception and the human memory,
Which is more skilled at remembering the unsavory things.
My response to the boy who so unabashedly labeled me “seizure chick” is this.
My name is Alex.
I am a red headed horseback rider,
the girl who will be a pilot before she graduates high school
Because the doctors can fix it.
I am a writer, a book lover, an author, a poet.
I am a creator, a free thinker, a giver.
I am a scientist, a question asker,
A carbon based lifeform filled with curiosity.
I am an engineer,
Building robots since age ten.
I am the girl with fire in her fingertips
Because what these halls have yet to learn is that lightning
Never fails to strike more than one person.
The electricity flows through my blood through my hand through my pencil to the paper,
And you’d better step back
Lest you be struck by words that have yet to be spoken.
I am the owner of the words “geek,” “nerd,” “bibliophile,” and “badass!”
I am the creator of a band of misfits.
We fit together but no where else.
We are the artists, the writers, the actors, the musicians, the scientists.
We are the dreamers, the believers.
We plan to effect the world,
Leaving as few scars as possible.
We do not fit at any of the school’s perfectly square tables.
We are like knights,
But we don’t need King Arthur to sit at the cafeteria’s only round table.
It is one of the teachers’ tables,
So they have a good laugh,
But we sit there proud,
Knowing that it is the only one big enough to hold all of our triumphs.
I am the laughter that rings through the hallways
When I am running purely on Zoloft and two hours of sleep.
I am the girl who single-handedly took on the freshman class president,
The most popular girl in my grade, and the freshman class’ most notorious egomaniac.
They were making fun of a girl with Epilepsy and a girl with cerebral palsy,
And I taught them the dangers of carrying a negative charge,
How quickly one’s attitude can make electrons converge
And turn bullies into human lightning rods.
I am the girl who translates the stars through my window
So the rest of the world can see how bright the sky shines in my eyes.
I am the one who forgives those who have aggrieved me
Because I have seen enough to know that holding on
Causes more suffering on both sides.
I am the one teaching the lesson in gym class
About picking the people who society says aren’t a physical asset to your team
Because at some point,
We will all be the ones not built for the sport.
I have learned that leadership is about courage and compassion
That when fear is involved,
It’s not leading  but intimidation.
I am the lone voice in a privileged classroom that says
Whether or not you believe in God or which one you believe in,
We, as human beings, are all created equal.
I am a redheaded firecracker who rocks everything pink.
I’m out of tune with my classmates,
But I still choose to speak.
And yes, somehow I happen to have seizures in the middle of all of that,
But I’ll be damned if I’ll let you make a personality trait out of them.
I am not the girl with seizures.
I am the girl made of lightning.


The author's comments:

I am fifteen years old and have an uncontrolled seizure disorder. I have seizures multiple times an hour every day. This poem was inspired after a boy 3 grades ahead of me remembered me as "the chick with seizures" and said so before he even asked me my name. 


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