The Shadow That Never Leaves | Teen Ink

The Shadow That Never Leaves

July 6, 2015
By Stalker_Panda BRONZE, Albuquerque, New Mexico
Stalker_Panda BRONZE, Albuquerque, New Mexico
3 articles 44 photos 8 comments

He will never get through me
He will never take me
Depression is the weight to my soul
Depression is the quicksand that tugs me under as I grasp for the vines that surround me
Depression is who shows you who truly cares, and how much you truly don’t
Depression is who taught me to be strong when my heart and mind no longer can do so
Depression is my worst enemy, and at times the only one who is there
He has taught me to be careful in every decision I make, and to not allow anyone to hurt me
He has taught me that life is hard, and I will only make it harder for myself
He has been the shadow that ensues my smile in entirety
He is the one to hold the .45 to my head, and no matter how much I want to break and cry, I must smile and show the world no emotion
As he stands on my shoulders engulfing me more by the day I must be strong
I wake every day with the fear that just as spider man was overthrown by venom, that my heart will give into the dark, and allow the pain to take me
It is the drug I no longer crave, the drug that passes through teenagers every day
He is who everyone thinks they know, but so many just wish for the attention, as if baring the pain of his parasitic friendship may be considered a good thing
The eternal sorrow is nothing of pride, it is nothing that lasts a moment
He is the scars that never leave your heart, and will fill your glass for eternity
And right when you think he’s left, like the wind he will pass and go
But just like a bad habit he never truly goes
He sits in the shadows, he is the shadows, and waits for you to trip so he may once again steal what you cherish most. Hope
He is the bully that will allow no such thing, but just as a bully does he does this with no ability to stop, and without provocation
He will take your lunch money, and beat you in front of all the other kids
But you will stand up, you will not let him win
You get up, you brush off the dirt, and you keep going on the trek
I’ve seen the pain be too much for some, and sadly he has taken them to their graves which now they lay
But I will not let him surmount my walls of care and hope
He will never get through me
He will never take me
He can not, I will carry him like the child he is for the rest of my life
He is my guardian that I wish not to be watched by, but I will keep him in his place
I will carry him no matter how much I wish him gone, but I will plug my ears with the music of my sorrowed brethren, and will allow him no such pleasure as to see me hurt
I will not give in
He will never get through me
He will never take me
I have always found a way to keep him at bay
Whether a girl, or a song, he will not take my heart
For she already has, for a year now I’ve had a friend to fill the spot in which he tries to take
He tries, and tries, again and again
But he can not amount to her beauty, her smile, her laugh
He will never take her place
He will never take her
He will never take me
We mustn't let him take us
Together we can beat him, with her by my side I need not drugs or doctors
With her I don’t need to fake my way through
I may have my bad days, my lows
I may always have him
But I will always have her, and I will always try for her
As long as he will never get through her
As long as he will never take her
Then I have a lifeline to keep me afloat
In those brown eyes, I will always stay afloat

The author's comments:

I'm one of the few kids with "depression" that really has it. It isn't something that stays for days, it makes you stay in bed for weeks on end. I've kept strong so far, and have yet to give into medication. It's just nice to talk about it I guess.

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