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I'm Breaking Up With You
Six years.
Six years of life-sucking pain in a relationship
I did not want;
a relationship I did not ask for, but
I accepted it anyway because my mom always told me
to be nice.
I'm breaking up with you.
You've been slowly killing me in ways that
go unnoticed,
but I do not flinch when you strike me with unbearable pain
because I grew up thinking I deserved it.
I'll paint you portraits of beautiful things and
cradle you in welcoming arms,
but I will not stay with you.
I'm breaking up with you.
I will hold you at 3am when you're screaming the loudest and
I will even let you drown me in the pain,
but I cannot stay with you.
You've made me spit up razors instead of cries for help,
but I was raised to be nice
so I'll accept it anyway.
But I'm breaking up with you.
I'll write you love notes in the dark and
let you tell me what to do,
but I will not stay with you.
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This is a free-verse poem written to/about the chronic illness that I have had to live with for the past 6 years (and counting) of my life.