I lie in the dark stillness
eyes wide
and pupils huge as they soak up the shadows
don’t cry
                don’t cry
                                don’t cry
until I do
tears
smooth and salty and cool
run down the sides of my face
into my ears
onto my pillow
soaking my hair
the mist in my soul condenses through each eye
oh what a relief it is to cry
my barren heart aches and
longs to be embraced but
I am alone
I tightly hug the frail child that is
myself
and find that I am scared
terrified
my insides scream and I gasp for breath gulping stale air and it all floods in and I know
I am scared
terrified
a calm zephyr seeps in through my window
I shiver
only my tears keep me warm
and in despair I look beyond the sky and ask God
why?
why did you let me go?
allow me to live on my own?
make everyone leave
leave me all alone
why God?
why did you build the dam enclosing the never ending flow of love from within that made others love
me?
why did you hold my skinny hand for so long only to thrust me into the busy street?
why did You blindfold my mind’s gentle eye and decide to free the knot
of all times now
leaving me to endure the unforgiving sun?
why why why why

why?

I breath in and out
I sigh
I close my eyes
oh what a relief it is
to cry