Its been many long weeks
And the scars aren't distinct
I've been working on the words
To describe the hurt
It felt when creating them
And how I looked in the mirror and hated them
How they only showed me dark nights
Where I cried out for a light
Where I cried until tears
Drowned me in fears
Where I cried and screamed
Disrupting the serene
Where I couldn't speak or even write
Those ugly, dark nights

I cannot share the feeling
As those scabs were peeling
Where I scratched until I bled
And prayed I wake up dead
You don't know how I would cry
Until the sunlight
And I can't tell you why
Only describe those nights
Nights I planned to end it all
Nights I popped too many Tylenol
To ease the pain I felt in my heart
Nights where all I could see was dark
When I Literally prayed God would kill me
Those scars may have faded but I fear I'm still me

Despite the fact that scars fade
Doesn't change that they were made
I remember looking in the mirror, crying
Telling myself I'm already dying
So why not end it? I hate myself
I can't do anything right, and its messing with my health
So now I don't think I have tears left
And those memories are something that'll always be kept
nights I'd stay up and curse God for my sin
Nights where I wished I could run away
And those nights where I longed to never see day
So as I watch these scars fade
I know those dark nights will never turn to gray