Physical, mental strain
as I stare
as I’m in pain
everywhere.

Enwrapped in worry
in stress, anxiety
of this art form
which I adore
which fills me completely.

The satin shoe, pink, newly sewed
the ribbons hang and whirl,
and the elastic keeps me from falling
with seams and cloth stitched perfectly.

But I am spinning,
on my toes
the hard box
on and off the floor.
The sole of this shoe,
slowly begins to bend
and mold with me,
becomes one with every move I blend.

I feel each bone
each muscle
each emotion
entranced by you, ballet.

My slippery sweat
saturates my forehead
but I can never give a glimpse
of what it really is.

I am so utterly moved
by each fragment and gesture
pushing even the most subtle
and gentle movements
to achieve true expression.

Why is it I am so lost with you?
how do I simply forget everything?
except the captivating motion
the precision
the fatigue.

Eyes glimmer after hours
and hours
everything felt
Close to a shatter.

And then I walk in,
there is the barre
wooden and it creaks,
the pianist begins to play,
a delicate line
not a note discreet
not a thought astray.

I recognize the tune,
the swift line of each song
as I move and fuse

But it is deeper than this,
the pretty music,
the state of bliss.

There is actual depth,
a story,
someone to embody
people can’t be left.

There are tears,
heart breaks
when you believe you did well
but something else changes.

It doesn’t matter
the perfection,
the execution
the haze.

But I stare at myself more
the mirror sitting stupidly in front of me
the dim light
in frustration
in unclarity.

So forced to perfection
in every way
by you, ballet.

Though everything burns
the fire drifting from soul
luring me on,
away, my heart will never churn.

I feel this hope
and light within
pouring my essence out for you
as tirelessly as I can.

A smile crosses my tired face
when the melodic line overcomes me
I am elegant
I am full of grace.

Though I feel incredible aches
and I yell inside
my insecurities slowly begin to fade.

Oh ballet I love you
because of your surreal presence
words can never describe
I’ve never truly felt more alive.