I had forgotten
I didn't have to pretend to be perfect and
Bob above the surface in the
Sea of you accept me
And see if I accept you
I had forgotten
I didn't have to look up at a bar I could not reach
Jump without feet and bow my head in defeat
I had forgotten
I could admit to my mistakes
No matter how many re-dos or retakes
I didn't have to hide my shameful face
He sees the whole picture
The black dot and the white space
The memory rushed back with a familiar voice
A gentle calm and tenderness- a still in all the noise
The chaos in my mind, the kind of thoughts that could push you under
His soothing rain softened the thunder
Familiar like a favorite dove gray blanket
And all of a sudden my eyes couldn't take it
I only cry in front of people I trust
That alone tells you how much
I remember that I don't have to be perfect cuz everyone has issues
I can cry if I want because love always carries tissues
I remember that he will not let me be defeated
That he will lift me up to the bar so I can reach it
I can reach out if I need him
He's there, no ands, ifs, or buts about it
I try to be so independent
All big and bad, but my tough is rented
I need him
I still need lullabies to cradle me to dreams
I still sleep with a light at seventeen
I'm not as in control as it seems
Afraid to need someone who will up and leave me, but I'd forgotten
That he wants me
And that memory is all I need to rock me to sleep