I remember the day she was born
so small and perfect
a screaming bundle of beauty.
I remember the day she first said momma
I thought the smile that lit my face would hurt.
I remember the day I left her at kindergarten for the first time
in her little blue dress and brown pig-tails
her eyes filled with tears as she watched me leave her with her new class
my heart broke, but I knew she would love kindergarten
and she had.
I remember the day my little girl turned 12
I wandered where has all the time gone to?
it seemed like yesterday she was just a toddling tot
smiling at nothing and laughing at everything.
I remembered when she asked me
to let her ride her bike to the playground, just a street over from our house
“It will be fine, momma” she said, “I’m just meeting Anna”.
I remember a feeling of unease, but I let her go
I thought - it’s just a short walk.
Bah-dum, Bah-dum, bah-dum
the sound my heart made when my little Claire didn’t pick up her phone.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock
the sound the clocked chimed
As it counted how late my daughter was.
Tap, tap, tap
the anxious sound my fingers made as I called the police.
Crack
the sound of my heart when I heard the news.
I remember the phone call
fear and hope danced together intricately.
The fear had been right.
I remember seeing your body
my beautiful little girl broken, mutilated and cold to the touch.
Your light taken so young.
Drip, drip, drip
the sound of my tears as they drop
wetting the last photo of us
the last picture of my baby girl.