If Only | Teen Ink

If Only

May 12, 2016
By Carson_Beck GOLD, Austin, Texas
Carson_Beck GOLD, Austin, Texas
16 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Barry's real superpower isn't speed, it's hope. The kid's got an endless reservoir. Thinks it's all gonna work out!" - HR (The Flash)


If only, a phrase that allows an easy interpretation of a person's anguish, a phrase that embodies a distant hope, an idea that one day things will change. If only they did. My life is so full of if only and I all to often find myself saying "if only I could take it all back." If only.
"If only I'd done that."
"If only I'd said something."
"If only I'd made a move."
"If only I'd been brave."
"If only I had a dollar for every 'If only' I've ever said."
I often sit and reflect on my life, I consider each "if only" like a child considers his bad behavior after being reprimanded by their mother, all in an attempt to figure out where I went wrong.
It turns out the very fabric of history is laced with these creatures, these "if onlys" intertwining with each other like old and frail fingers held together by doubts, and in their midst sits I, and everyone who has ever been prodded by Doubt's cold and unwelcome nail. Doubt, the witch, who feeds on us all and grows and grows, the stronger it gets the more we succumb, until we finally feel the weight of Doubt begin to crush us. The only escape is to run, run forward never look back and when you get to the edge don't... listen very carefully... don't get caught on the rocks.
A man said that to me once, "don't get caught on the rocks." In reference to a time in which he conquered over Doubt and jumped from a cliff into the ocean below, when everyone else feared what lie beyond that looming edge. Doubt was enraged by this man, not only had he escaped it's grasp he had released the others from their chains. There was no one  who said "if only" on that day, we claimed victory. These battles take place every day, and some may not seem as extravagent but even the smallest victory against Doubt's soldier, the "if only," is something to be celebrated.
And we must never say, even when we are alone, "if only I could take it all back," for that is the ultimate victory for Doubt. No more "if only," there is a counter to "if only," a simple word, "go."
With that word in its simplicity you could conquer anything life throws at you.
"Go do that!"
"Go say something!"
"Go make a move!"
"Go be brave!"
"Just go!"



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