Not too long ago I was suicidal
it took over my life and acted like my idol.
What I wish that you could see is that this life is not a blessing to me.

It helped with all the decisions I make
it even chose the path that I would take.
But let’s talk about now.
I am depressed and it’s a deep pain inside of my chest.
I try to run and hide but I know it will always stick by my side.

If someone held a gun to your head
I would beg them to take my life instead.
Because deep inside I scream and yell because this life is hell.

They say in the end it will be just fine
but im still burning deep inside.
I never had a dad now you may think that’s sad
but it’s okay because I’m still living here to this day.
I really wish the world was different, maybe just the way I picture it.
I hate living in pain and fear and every now and then shed a tear.

I just want to be alone all by myself at home.
I used to get on my knees begging to god please,
answer my prayers , he hasn’t answered my prayers
I’m starting to think he might not even be there.

I go to school and you treat me like im nothing,
but when I grow up I intend to be something.

  I write my pain on this paper its so hot it turns into vapor.
  But you could never appeal to the way I feel
sometimes the pain go’s strait to my brain.
I always put a smile on my face,
but to me it’s just a disgrace.

What I really want you to see is that there isn’t a one way this has to be.