part iii: dying | Teen Ink

part iii: dying

February 16, 2018
By benndelisle GOLD, Morrisonville, New York
benndelisle GOLD, Morrisonville, New York
11 articles 0 photos 0 comments

i’m dying,
dying for you to accept me,
for you to look into my dusty eyes,
and for you to call me pretty,
because you would look at me,
as though im someone,
and not something,
you torture me,
hanging my hands above my head,
wanting to play your little games,
well i’m in pain,
and that’s not okay,
i never said it was okay,
this is not okay,
you need to cut me down,
but it’s sad because i hang
by my own arms
but still, cut me down,
cut me,
break my arms,
cut them off and,
free me,
or bleed me,
or burn me,
anything but this hell i’m living,
this hell i am,
this hell you are,
this hell i’m dying to leave,
whether it’s me leaving you,
or you leaving me,
i will leave one way or another,
like the father i once had,
who left me at a doorstep,
to be crushed by your feet,
i am nothing but a welcome mat,
sitting here to be crushed,
hating it,
but waiting for it,
expecting it,
because that’s what happens,
when you welcome everyone,
and everything,
they take advantage of you,
and step on you,
you tie me down,
to pour water down my throat,
unwillingly,
i didn’t want this
this is not okay,
this is not okay,
drown me,
go all the way,
kill me,
because that’s the only way you can free me,
is to let me go,
and to kill me,
if you want to be the hunter,
i will be the deer,
if it means you will eat me raw,
to taste the beast you have created,
and to feast on the blood you have spilled,
because it was always yours,
and never mine,
so bite into my heart,
and die the sinner you are,
because satan himself wouldn’t,
create a devil like you,
because you are pure evil,
you pull my legs and arms,
until they pop out,
of the lonely sockets,
they once lived,
but now they live with you,
but is it any different,
than on my body,
the body you own,
the body you love,
the body you hate,
i have no legs,
no arms either,
and i feel the blood drip to floor,
as i lie patiently waiting,
for the misery to end,
but it won’t come soon,
because you bandage me up,
just so you can knock me down again,
like the door you slammed,
between our trust,
between our love,
between us,
and now i am left,
laying in knives,
as you slice me,
to find some bitter love,
you will never get from me,
not again,
never again,
until you slip,
distracted,
and slice me open,
bearing my open chest,
heart beating like a ghost’s,
lungs sucking the dry air,
like a lifeless body,
the thing you’ve made me to be,
and finally the darkness spreads,
like a sad disease,
through my body,
until its off,
and i say goodbye,
and your loving eyes,
regret your mistake,
but i spit in your eye,
and don’t say goodbye,
as i lay here and,
die.



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