Sunless | Teen Ink


January 8, 2015
By NoniDoni GOLD, Calabasas, California
NoniDoni GOLD, Calabasas, California
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Somewhere in the world

It's shining with glee and cheer

Why won't it shine here

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This article has 6 comments.

on Jan. 19 2015 at 9:04 pm
PianoKeys97 PLATINUM, Medford, New Jersey
22 articles 35 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches." -Dita Von Teese

The way you have brought across an emotion in such few words is really a beautiful thing. Keep writing no matter what you do. I love the simplicity but deep meanings in this.

on Jan. 13 2015 at 6:20 pm
CynthiaFeathers ELITE, Frisco, Texas
124 articles 42 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
He who is bound to a star does not turn back.
Leonardo Di Vinci

You see I'm a bit of a poet, and you did not know it! What!?
~Sir Percy Blakeney

Short but sweet. I love it!

on Jan. 13 2015 at 6:39 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right." -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, "The Book Thief"

Absolutely wonderful, NoniDoni. I think this is how haikus are supposed to be, representation of an emotion, and yours does it delightfully. Congratulations on the no 3 position, it was well deserved.

on Jan. 11 2015 at 6:31 pm
kennedyshine PLATINUM, Corte Madera, California
44 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
The perpetual pursuit for an unattainable freedom

Really nice, the flow is flawless. I don't know how long you worked on this to make it as good as it is but its one of the best I've seen in a while.

NoniDoni GOLD said...
on Jan. 11 2015 at 1:40 pm
NoniDoni GOLD, Calabasas, California
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments
Thank you so much! I enjoy receiving constructive criticism! I didn't give your haiku enough praise though! It's really good and like you said about mine, the image represents the haiku very well! Nice job being #2! Your haiku totally with no doubt deserves it! ; )

on Jan. 11 2015 at 12:55 pm
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” -Mae West
"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things." - Leonardo Da Vinci

Well done! The first line conveys mysteriousness, the second gives off a feeling of hope, and the third just plummets all of that to a different level of emotions- in a good way. The picture also represents this haiku beautifully. The only thing I'd do personally, would be to merge the last line with the previous ones. Something like "something that's not here" would have been my preferred choice, but everyone's different. This is a great haiku and definitely deserves to be in the daily top voted haikus!