thinking process | Teen Ink

thinking process

March 9, 2010
By lilmags BRONZE, Tulsa, Oklahoma
lilmags BRONZE, Tulsa, Oklahoma
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The river rushes by
Above me trees and sky.
Fallen trees all around
Bugs are the only sound.
I sit throughout the day
I wish and hope and pray.
The only thing I see
Is nature around me.
The waterfall pours down
Somewhat softly hits the ground.
I feel so very free
Nothing but nature around me.
Butterflies and moths fly by
The birds, they’re oh so high.
A dog and couple walk by,
I smile and they say hi.
If only I could stay
Here every single day,
I think that I would see
What’s hidden inside of me.
And as I sit and think
I see my life is on the brink.
I need to come back in
I need to start again.
I’m going to start again
I’m going to come back in.
I’m putting my life on track
And never looking back.
But should I not succeed
M heart will surely bleed.
For if I stay on the brink
My life will slowly sink
To the point of no return
Like ashes in an urn
Like dead leaves in the fall
Like a moth that hits a wall
My life is going down
I need to turn it around.
Before it starts to sink
I really ought to think
About whom I want to be
About what I want to see
I need to take some time
To read between the lines
To see what’s barely there
To show that I do care
I’m learning right from wrong
Even as my life goes along
On and on it goes
I swear, it never slows.
Life goes by so fast
All good times fly right past
Saved in a place in your head
Till the day you’re dead
But how do you make memories last?
Can you make time not go so fast?
These are the questions I ask
When I’m not hidden behind a mask
A mask that needs to be removed
For it is creating a groove.
A groove that is making my life
Full of anger and worry and strife
To the point of no return
Like a book needing to be burned.
If only there was a way
To give life a path on which to stay
No matter what happens to earth
I wish to remember since birth
Since I have no path to follow,
I’ll sing and be free like a swallow
Though someday soon I hope
To have a path attached to a rope
To pull myself back in
When I start to fall again.
But when I find a path
How will I know if it hath
The things in which I strive
Unless I take a drive?
And if it is the wrong path,
Will I be able to turn back
To turn my life back around?
To keep myself firmly on the ground?
I hear a strange sound and I wonder
What is it like to be thunder?
To be so powerful and strong?
To burst out of the sky like a gong?
I wish I could see what it’s like
To the sky, I wish I could hike.
To see everything below
To know which way to go
But since I’m stuck on the ground
I’ll go and see what’s been found
To live life to the fullest
And maybe make a list
Of what to accomplish and when
So I don’t look or act like a hen.
For now I will try
To see past the sky
And live to the extent of life
For that is my strife
At which I will try
While reaching the stars in the sky.
I need some strong support
Else I may abort
The path on which I follow
To a life that’s oh so hollow.
But if my life is hollow, how will I ever see
What path I should follow, ort how I can be me?
For if I am not me,
Who else will I be?
A mask that needs to be removed
But what if I am not approved?
What if people don’t see
That this is truly me?
I’m just a girl who will try
To make my life not a total lie
The river shows the flow
Of where my life could go
The sky tells me I’m free
Just simply to be me
The edges of the trees
Are my boundaries
To show where I should go
If I choose a path to follow
But how will I know right from wrong?
Will I find it in a song?
And if I choose a path that is wrong,
Before I find a better one, how long
Will it take me to realize
That the rope is just twist ties
Falling apart as I go
Through the wind and the rain and the snow
And what if it’s too late
If the “rope” is holding my fate
It could let me fall down
Next time rain comes to town
And what if I can’t get up?
What if I’m stuck like a pup
To the point of no return?
When will I ever learn?
And what if I get burned
To the point that I cannot return?
What will happen then?
Will I have to start again?
If there was a way to know
Which path to take, which way to go,
Would people listen to that
Or would they blow it off like a hat?
I wish people would see
What’s truly inside of me
So they could help me while
I go the extra mile
To see what I could do
To make my life good and new
The sun slowly rises
Bringing a new day of surprises
The river still rushing by
I feel like I could fly
To the point of no return
But only so high, for the sun will burn
But only so low, for hell will burn too
And I could possibly drown in the ocean blue.
I wish to sail away
To a place where I may
Start again my life
For that is my strife
I strive to live, my strife is life
Else in my hand I may have a knife
Not sure quite what to do with it
Then again, why don’t I stay a bit?
Something sounds in the distance
Pausing my life just like a trance
Now it is gone and I have begun
Pulling my lives back into one
Piles of wood show what I seem to be
The trees show me what I should see
Rocks around
Not making a sound
Till something stands on them and falls
Then it sounds like punching walls
A boat goes by
I try not to cry
For when I see the people having fun there
I can’t help but stop and stare
For if my life were like that
Not blown around like a hat
I think people would see
The best side of me
Then they could help me in my strife
To make my lives just one life
To keep that strong rope around my waist
Through all the challenges with which I am faced.

The author's comments:
I was on a camping trip with church and we had two ours of writing time, one at night, one in the morning. I hope people will take time to keep their life together.

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