“ ‘Cause I wished you the best of,  All this world could give

And I told you when you left me, There’s nothing to forgive

But I always thought you’d come back, tell me,

All you found was heartbreak and misery”

plays on my phone,

the volume is high to try and numb the pain,

my room is a mess, books on the floor, papers ripped, and pillows thrown across the room,

it became this way after I had realized what happened five minutes ago,

my back is pressed against the bed and I stare at the grey depressing wall,

with a small blue box of tissues next to me,

“I’m jealous of the nights, That I don’t spend with you,

I’m wondering who you lay next to,

Oh, I’m jealous of the nights”

the hours go by very slowly as I am as still as a statue and cry while I reminisce of what used to be,

long gone are holding hands, late night and early morning texts, and smiling at her during school

long gone are my “friends” who held the truth from me

long gone what I thought was true and different

and long gone is a year and five months

“It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way

You're happy without me…”