The Tears Of the Souls in the Sky | Teen Ink

The Tears Of the Souls in the Sky

March 24, 2012
By Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments

They wait and watch,
they don't hesitate. . .

And as it starts to pour. . .
You kiss me more. . .

But then you turn around and walk away. . . Then you leave me in
the cold and pouring rain!

The tears of the souls in the sky!
Are meant for you! And only you!
Theses tear of mine! Are meant for you! And only you! And only you!

When you walk to her. . .
When you whisper in her ear
It tells me. . all that I need to know. . .

These rain drops, falling from the sky, are meant for you. . .
And only you!

These tears of mine! are meant for you! And only. . . you. . .



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This article has 8 comments.


on Jun. 8 2013 at 11:44 am
GreekGoddess BRONZE, Andover, Connecticut
3 articles 0 photos 182 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The unprepared rebel dies in the fire."
~unknown

This is really quite good, a wonderful idea, and peice. As said before, you need more structure, but it's really good as it stands now :)

on Aug. 2 2012 at 6:30 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments

Awww, thank you so much! :D and of course when I have time too! :P

 

~Free :)(:


on Jul. 27 2012 at 7:01 pm
albinotiger GOLD, Gloucester, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 186 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win"- Stephen King
“In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate”- Isaac Asimov

AWW thats so sweet and special!! (maybe check out my work sometime)

on Jun. 21 2012 at 9:04 pm
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
"laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone." anonymous

welcome! you might like my poem 'After Treatment,' too. :)

on Jun. 21 2012 at 5:42 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments

Thank you so much! I really appricate it! 

 

~Free :)(:


on Jun. 20 2012 at 11:49 pm
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
"laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone." anonymous

you have a lot of raw emotion to work with--that is very good! As SirYouAreAsleep said, try and give more structure to it. Keep writing!

on Jun. 3 2012 at 4:09 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Thanks for commenting, and I haven't really found the rythm yet. :)(:

on May. 31 2012 at 9:24 am
SirAreYouAsleep GOLD, Milton, New Hampshire
10 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Human's have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them." - Albus Dumblrdore

What style is this supposed to be? And what's the rhythm like ? I do like the lyrics, and I would say just watch the Rhythm, but I don't know what to correct in it.