Robbed of Innocence | Teen Ink

Robbed of Innocence

June 3, 2011
By JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin


I was young when I thought the world was fun,
I knew Prince Charming would surely come,
I thought war was a game and didn’t murder with a gun,
I was innocent and no one was dumb,
no one would yet cause a scar across my heart,
to me no one died,
and I didn’t know love could tear apart,
and from no one was happiness disqualified,
I could say: “I forgive,
everything you have done,
and I let live,”
and I knew no reason to call 9-1-1,
childhood innocence can be robbed with a kiss,
and our unscarred hearts we do miss!


The author's comments:
This is the first sonnet I have EVER written!I hope you like it. Please comment. :D

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This article has 37 comments.


on Aug. 2 2011 at 6:21 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

You're very welcome!!!! I'll read them as soon as I can!!! :D

on Aug. 2 2011 at 6:19 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

Thanks alot!!!!!!! :))

on Aug. 2 2011 at 6:18 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

Oh Really!!!!!!! Thanks so much!!! Is there anything of yours you'd like me to read? :))

on Aug. 2 2011 at 6:14 pm
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

A sonnet should follow iambic pentameter. Ten syllables in each line, that's what meter is. :))

on Aug. 2 2011 at 6:10 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

Ummmm  the dictionary said a sonnet had 13 lines, so I looked at one of shakespeare's Sonnet 130 and then went from there.  Sorry, but thanks for reading and I'll work on all of that! Thanks! :)

on Aug. 2 2011 at 6:03 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

What do you mean by a meter? Thank so much!!!!!!!! :D

on Aug. 1 2011 at 7:47 pm
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

The only problem you have is the meter. Other than that, this is great!

Eirias SILVER said...
on Aug. 1 2011 at 7:46 pm
Eirias SILVER, Spring, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you wish to be a writer, write" -Epictetus

The definition of a sonnet is: a poem of 14 lines with a strict rhyme scheme and specific structer. When I think of sonnet I think of a Shakespearian sonnet--14 lines, iambic pentameter; ABAB,CDCD,EFEF,GG rhyme scheme. This does not fit the definition of a sonnet. I am as yet unable to find whether you used iambs, trochees, dactyls, ect., but they DEFINATELY don't have the same amount of syllables.

 

Which isn't to say it's not good, but it's not a sonnet.

Keep it up!

If you wouldn't mind reading "Relative Perspectives" in the forum, it also has an in-depth discussion on iambic pentameter. Thanks!


ams98 said...
on Aug. 1 2011 at 7:46 pm
ams98, Brighton, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 38 comments
This is my favortite poem of yours:) I love it:)))))) GREAT JOB!!

on Aug. 1 2011 at 7:43 pm
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE, Central, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Wow, this is SO good! Great job!

on Jul. 31 2011 at 9:43 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

Sure any of my four poems on the site would be nice. maybe the ocean waves to me or no matter how long you search for perfect, or never falling! Thank you so much!

on Jul. 31 2011 at 4:06 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

don't worry I won't stop!!!!!! Thnk you sooooooooo much!!!!!!!!! :D

on Jul. 31 2011 at 4:04 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

Really! Thnks a whole bunch!!!!! Thank you soooo much!!!!!!!

on Jul. 31 2011 at 2:16 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

Thank you so much I'll keep that in mind. Anything of yours you'd like me to read? :D

on Jul. 30 2011 at 5:39 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

I like it but some of the rhymes seem a TINY bit forced. For example the died... love disqualified part and the forgive and let live. Just some constructive criticism. I love the theme of this poem! 

on Jul. 30 2011 at 5:17 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments
Beautiful. You rhyme well.

on Jul. 30 2011 at 4:43 pm
JTboiiDrama PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
27 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is what it is

This is a MASTERPIECE. Perfect. Keep Writing and Never Stop!!!!!!