side effects of grief | TeenInk

side effects of grief

November 20, 2014
By joebro SILVER, Compton, California
joebro SILVER, Compton, California
9 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dreams are like a box of chocolates, if you hold on and think about them for to long it will all start to melt away.


first came the tears that had me staying up all night

which turns to anger and makes me want to shout and fight

next up is the stage of denial which is disbelief

and to me this is the worst stage of the grief

now your paranoid walking around like your ok but you're really destroyed

and with all these mixed emotions got you feeling like there is some kind of void

and even though you're in the dark a ray of lioght still manages to get in

making your dark feeling become sort of dim



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This article has 5 comments.


RealRiter GOLD said...
on Mar. 4 2015 at 7:46 pm
RealRiter GOLD, Astoria, Oregon
10 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I did not fail 101 times, but I simply found 101 ways that did not work." -Thomas Edison

Awesome... You already are an amazing writer, so with critique you'll be amazing!

RealRiter GOLD said...
on Mar. 4 2015 at 7:46 pm
RealRiter GOLD, Astoria, Oregon
10 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I did not fail 101 times, but I simply found 101 ways that did not work." -Thomas Edison

Awesome... You already are an amazing writer, so with critique you'll be amazing!

joebro SILVER said...
on Mar. 4 2015 at 11:18 am
joebro SILVER, Compton, California
9 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dreams are like a box of chocolates, if you hold on and think about them for to long it will all start to melt away.

thank you and don't apologize for being honest critisim only makes a person better so the more honest you are the better i'm gone become

Mckay ELITE said...
on Mar. 3 2015 at 9:50 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Overall, emotional. Edit, edit, edit (sorry for being critical.) I feel that it's a little more of an essay, so to say, than a poem. Just proof-read it and polish it. Otherwise, you convey emotion nicely.

RealRiter GOLD said...
on Feb. 18 2015 at 2:39 pm
RealRiter GOLD, Astoria, Oregon
10 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I did not fail 101 times, but I simply found 101 ways that did not work." -Thomas Edison

Nice. WOWWriting is right... :( love da creativity though!

joebro SILVER said...
on Feb. 18 2015 at 11:21 am
joebro SILVER, Compton, California
9 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dreams are like a box of chocolates, if you hold on and think about them for to long it will all start to melt away.

thank you everything you just said is going to be taken into serious consideration

on Feb. 17 2015 at 1:10 pm
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
Very sad topic again. I hope your life cheers up if these are a representation of them! Proof-reading could be needed for grammar and spelling occasionally, but well-written overall.