For you Spider-man fans, I apologize for delaying my reviews of the Sam Rami Spider-man movies. And here they are. So, why not be reasonable and start from the beginning? Let's get it started with...
Spider-man! So, Spider-man is the first movie in the Spider-man trilogy. It's the story of, well, Spider-man! He was a nerdy kid in high school, who got his powers from a radioactive spider, and it's the Spider-man Spider-man movie reviews may contain some spoilers. So, if you don't like spoilers, I'm sure you won't like this review. Unless you just don't give a rat's ass, in which case: Welcome. (The spoilers shouldn't bother you guys that much since these movies are about a decade old). So the movie starts out the same way as all the Spider-man movies in the trilogy: a CGI-ish title opening with the Spider-man music most of us are familiar with. With all the flaws that these movies have, the music remains amazing even today. I'm sure if you put this on at a night club, or something, you'd see people going, "Ah. Memories. Now put on Mortal Kombat!" Okay, that was just a little joke. After the CGI-ish opening we get a narration by Tobey Maguire, our Peter Parker in the next three films. I am not kidding. Every movie begins with Parker narrating to us about his life story. Parker is simply the nerdy kid in High School, and what was nerdy back then isn't what's nerdy now. Here, Parker is the nerdy kid who always gets picked on. Now, nerdy kids are somewhat geniuses who always pay attention and sometimes stays in the back of the classroom. Parker's class is on a field trip to some laboratory to learn about genetics, I think. The class heads in just as Harry Osborn, Peter's best friend played by James Franco, shows up with his father Norman Osborn, the soon-to-be Green Goblin played by William Dafoe. And, like in the comics, Parker gets bitten by a spider that could easily be seen if Parker took his eyes off Mary Jane Watson, the love interest played by Kirsten Dunst. He heads home to his Aunt May (played by Rosemary Harris) and his Uncle Ben (played by Cliff Robertson) and lies down as his transformation occurs. Meanwhile, Norman is going through his own transformation. He uses an untested, unstable genetic enhancer designed for the military on himself, because he's about to lose his company. It gives him a split-personality and thus, the Green Goblin is born!
The next day, Peter wakes up with some amazing modifications to his body and mind. After some shenanigans at school, he finally gets a handle on his powers. He tries to use it to get some cash, like any teenager would. But he then has a heart-filled talk with uncle Ben, which he didn't take to heart. He signs up for a wrestling match, where we see a quick Bruce Campbell cameo before Parker wins the fight. After the fight promoter cheats him, he lets the robber who robbed the fight promoter get away. Unfortunately, that same robber was the one who murdered his uncle for the car. Desperate for vengeance, he dons a poorly made costume and hunts down the killer. Like the comic books, he realizes what he's done and devotes his life to helping others, unlike a real teenager. A real teenager wouldn't go straight to being responsible just because his uncle said so. He'd still act irresponsible for a while. Honestly, teenagers aren't the most responsible creatures on this planet. You all know it's true.
Anyway. Like I said before, the scene where Spider-man is introduced is so...underwhelming. Spidey just shows up. That trailer that you can't see anymore, I'm positive that that was the introduction for Spider-man. It shows some bank-robbers escaping in a helicopter, and then they get stuck in a giant spider web between the World Trade Center. I'm sure that was Spidey's introduction. But, since 9/11 happened the editors cut it out at the last minute. Back to the movie. One thing that I did like about the Spider-man movies was some of the casting. For example, J.K. Simmons as J. Johan Jameson. He owns the role as Jameson. And like every other version of Jameson, he hates Spider-man. The comics actually give an explanation for his hatred towards Web-head. I think the comics said that Jameson's wife was killed by a masked robber and that fueled his hatred for people with masks. Again, I'm not sure. I know it went something like that. So, he hates people who wear masks. He must have a serious vendetta against masked wrestlers. Peter gets a job at the Bugle in order to pay for his apartment. Meanwhile, Norman is losing control of his split-personality. FYI, the split-personality is the typical Jekyll and Hyde. He changes his voice, makes scary faces, and plays sinister and evil and innocent and terrified. It finally breaks free at an Oscorp Festival where the Goblin murders his Co-workers and the others who wanted to cut his funding. At that point, we have the first official confrontation between Webs and Goblin: and it is not well done. The effects were really bad in the first one. Did you honestly believe that the Goblin was really there when he was on the glider? At some points, it looked liked the video game, which sucks by the way. In fact, Spidey's costume looked somewhat computer generated, didn't it? Now that I mention it, did you guys see some of the early designs for the Goblin? They looked pretty cool and creative. But I guess what we got was okay. Granted, some of the fight scenes were pretty bad-ass. Some scenes with Spider-man in them period were bad-ass. But the CGI really stands out at times. At least the effects got better as the films went on.
After a series of events that led to another Spider vs. Goblin battle, Norman discovers the obvious truth that Peter is Spider-man. It's as obvious as any other secret identity in the comics. With this knowledge, Goblin injures his Aunt, kidnaps M.J., and overall tries to make his life a living hell. It leads to an epic conclusion that isn't very epic when you think about it. All he does is hold a cable car thanks to more crappy CGI effects, and gets his costume shredded. Again, all the battle damage Spidey gets in all of his films is a torn-up costume. In the Amazing Spider-man, Spider-man gets shot and injured! What? Finally some battle damage. But I'll get to that cinematic master-piece soon enough. We have a final showdown between the Goblin and Spider-man. It's just Spidey getting tossed around until he finally fights back, then the glider kills Goblin. And like the comics, Harry sees his dead father being brought back by Spidey and blames his father's death on him. Then the story wraps up with M.J. finally giving herself to Peter, and him leaving her to keep her safe. And, say it with: 'Like every other Spider-man movie in the trilogy,' it ends with a narration by Peter, and a scene with Spider-man swinging away and landing on a giant American Flag. Again, it was after 9/11. So, overall, it's not the worst comic book movie, but it isn't the best either. It has a ton of nostalgic value, the story is pretty well adapted from the comics, and it's still really fun to watch. So, I'd say that it's a 3.5 out of 5. A good time, and you can stay sober while watching it. I enjoy it, and tons of spider-man fans enjoying it. If you haven't seen it yet (unlikely) then check it out. You'll be glad you did. Keep an eye out for my review of Spider-man 2. Did you like this review? Comment below, let me know. And as always, if you liked this review and want to read more, check out my other reviews to see more.