AP: Absolutely Preposterous | Teen Ink

AP: Absolutely Preposterous MAG

November 1, 2007
By Anonymous

Weapons of Mass Instruction have been discovered in schools nationwide. Standardization of education is a plague that comes in many forms but none as detrimental as the AP class.

AP, or Advanced Placement, enrollment supposedly signifies that a ­student is intelligent enough to take college-level courses in high school. In reality, it’s just Academic Pollution. You do not learn the material to become enlightened. You learn to pass a test. You learn so that you can impress ­admissions officers with your weighted GPA. You learn so that when you enter college as a sophomore, you can fast-track your way to a high-paying job and the “real world.” But signing away your childhood to the College Board is Absolutely Preposterous.

Dealing with those gifted children who actually want to be educated often presents a challenge to administrators. Easily bored in classes that don’t stimulate them, these students release their pent-up frustration at their intellectual stagnation in the form of classroom disruptions. The solution? Lump all the Annoying Prodigies into one class and teach them the higher-level material they crave.

However, this isolation only creates further problems: Students are stratified into two spheres of existence. Like oil and water, these groups rarely mix or interact, resulting in an unmotivated class of slackers and a bunch of Antisocial Puppets, neither group knowing how to deal with the other. School should develop students socially as well as academically, preparing them to coexist with people from all walks in this rapidly changing world.

The fundamental rule in AP classes is Avoid People. Who has time for ­distracting social engagements? The massive homework load, looming deadlines and supplementary study groups slowly suck up your week.

Life doesn’t exist outside of meaningless busywork. Most often this ­consists of Absentminded Prattle, or the art of explaining concepts that you don’t understand, care about, or ever really need. The essay is no longer a forum for sharing opinions or arguing a case; it’s a formulaic regurgitation of exactly what the teacher/grader/counselor wants to hear. Anything Pedantic scores very well. Dick and Jane don’t play ball; Dick and Jane ­violently propel spherical objects at each other’s cranial cavities.

Weekends are for Application Padding: community service, multiple musical instruments, perhaps a sport or two, and other such “educational experiences.” Only Approved Pastimes are permissible. If a college wouldn’t care, neither should you.

Aggressive Parents enhance the whole experience with constant poking and pushing: “Do more, do it better, and do it faster than everyone around you. Don’t slack off. Don’t you want get into college?” Flipping burgers at McDonald’s is a favorite all-purpose threat, as if no respectable place of ­employment accepts applications from students who can’t name all the Chinese dynasties or integrate complex polynomials. Applying Pressure is a parental specialty, ­although the constant in-class reminders about judgment day (a.k.a. the AP test) don’t do anything to alleviate the stress.

Abandon Principles and accept it; shape yourself to fit the College Board cookie-cutter. AP is not learning but memorizing and rewording when prompted. AP is Always Procrastinating, staying up until one to finish that paper due tomorrow or the last of those French conjugations. AP is an obstacle course with never-ending hoops to jump through. AP is being taught ­exactly what to think and how to think it. At the end of the year, they evaluate on how well you regurgitate.

And so we sit in our little box, ­swallowing unquestioningly and vomiting on command, waiting for the sweet freedom that college brings. But can we survive the blinding sun of ­individual opinion? Or are we Altered Permanently to obey?



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This article has 108 comments.


Yourfriend said...
on Jan. 18 2010 at 8:00 pm
Hahaha, this is really good stuff. Melodramatic like nobody's business, but that's what makes it awesome. I wanna frame this or something.

TaylorM SILVER said...
on Jan. 3 2010 at 5:07 pm
TaylorM SILVER, Hemet, California
6 articles 6 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes we'd never know what's wrong without the pain. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."
- The Fray

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" Matthew 6:34

..."I have no time for fear, or people in my ear. Head down and running so fast, try not to dwell on the past. I'm fighting through this pain, and things I cannot change. Running right into the flame, rather than running away"
- Maroon 5

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
- C.S Lewis

"It's not about the destination. It's not about the journey. It's about the transformation you make in yourself as you go along that journey."
- Unknown

so true....

Spongebob said...
on Nov. 25 2008 at 8:09 am
amazed! i love the writing styles and it was very well written overall. it is exactly what AP classes are! i never thought of it this way but now i know the true means of AP

CM2011 said...
on Nov. 20 2008 at 10:14 pm
I absolutely LOVE this article! It is so true and I got a kick out of reading it! =]

Lisa said...
on Nov. 19 2008 at 12:26 am
Amazingly well written article! Although I completely, 100% agree with this, I am guilty of taking numerous APs in an attempt keep up with the demand of competitive colleges.

someone said...
on Nov. 17 2008 at 6:03 am
I simply love this! And I can honestly say it's really well written. I (sadly)agree wholeheartedly with this, and I've never seen any essay written about detrimental education and written so well.

tweedle dee said...
on Nov. 14 2008 at 1:44 pm
i love this it is so true and no one realizes it!