Every day there's a tragedy, a car wreak, a plane crash, or a freak storm that takes a loved one away.

Whatever it might be, it still hurts. I only know this because three in my family are gone. I'll start with my grandma since she was first to move on, she was a smoker and was on oxygen but refused to stop smoking I wasn't there when it happened but I still feel I like I could have done something to help. I know I could do nothing for I was in Texas while she was in Oregon thousands of miles away. And here I am again in Texas thousands of miles away and my grandpa is in Oregon dying of kidney failure and nothing I do will ever stop that, and just awhile back my great grandma died and before that my other grandpa was murdered and my uncle almost killed his self, and my cousin died over winter break and she was 30 why is my family destined for death it scares me because I'm constantly thinking who’s next and my dad is going back to Iraq and I worry all the time. when will this ever end?
04/17/08


My grandfather died the other day on the 15th I think depression set in before I went to sleep last night, but before that was denial I didn't believe he really died but now I understand that he is dead and nothing will change that, but I regret that I couldn't say good bye before he passed on, and I probably won't be able to make it to his funeral because he's in Oregon and I don't have the money to get there because the only transportation fast enough is by plane and we (my brother and I) want to go but my mom said we can't.