Opulence | Teen Ink

Opulence MAG

May 1, 2008
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.


I’ve been watching him for days now. When he leaves his house to go to school, I’m the one carefully tailing him, switching cars every day to make myself look less suspicious. If he ever sneaks out of his second-story room, I’ll be the one silently watching from a nearby tree. In class when he turns, feeling eyes on the back of his head, I’m the one who sent the hair on the back of his neck up on end. I am the girl whose shadow is always slightly overlapping his.

Being assigned to watch him almost makes me
feel like I’m not a stalker. Though I’m only 17, I’m a full-fledged member of the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. I’ve been with them since the ­tender age of five. It’s my home. Being an orphan, my office is also my permanent residence, the couch a fold-out bed. There are many others like me: no family. A lot of us are loners and haven’t chosen this route for ourselves.

I’m a tracker. I have been for years and some might say that I am the best at not being the best. In other words, I’m great at being invisible. Or at not being noticed. It’s not as hard as the others in the organization think. Being young and female is good, since most we track are young. Seeing me around younger people – my age, actually – doesn’t raise alarm bells. It helps that I’m cute. With a small frame, light hazel eyes, and short blond hair that curls under my chin, I don’t appear threatening. Of course, my ­organization-funded training doesn’t back that theory.

Soon I won’t be tracking down others with the power. They are finally going to give me an apprentice. After years of mastering everything I’ve been taught, they see my potential. That’s not to say I know everything. Even with my extended life I won’t be able to learn all the things I want to. If only this annoying boy would show the signs. It’s been almost a week. If he doesn’t show soon, they’ll reassign me. That much longer until I get my apprentice.

So here I am, sipping a latté and waiting for the Target to leave for school. I have been put in all of his classes in case something happens there, though I graduated high school years ago. Private tutors sped things up. With no family or personal ties, I had lots of time to devote to my studies. Martial arts black belts. Twelve languages, not including English. Everything a girl needs for a serious career in the agency. Such positions of power are not handed out easily. You must prove yourself many times over.

The Target and I have never spoken, but I know a lot about him. His file told me some, but after watching him for only a few days, I feel confident in saying that I know things no one else does. Not just the obvious, either. He resents his father and is protective of his mother, which makes me suspect the father is less than faithful. He smiles often but doesn’t make a lot of eye contact. He usually only speaks when spoken to. Although he has many friends, he isn’t close with any of them. The Target is observant, a watcher. This leads me to believe we would get along if he shows any promise.

I look down at my watch, then back at his house a few blocks away. The Target is late, which means I’ll be late too. Today my ride is a shiny black sports car, not out of place in this suburb full of midlife-crisis men. I turn on the engine impatiently. I’m fiddling with the radio when I hear something. I don’t feel any immediate danger, and I know to trust those feelings. But I ­also know that something is off.

Just as I am about to get out of the car and pretend to look in the trunk, the passenger door opens. I look up in surprise as the Target slides into the seat next to me. I grin, quite pleased by this turn of events. This is definitely a good sign. Perhaps intuition is strong in him. That would be good for my apprentice to have, complementary. I could handle having to deal with that.

“Hello, Lenna. Why have you been following me for a week now?” the Target asks lightly, conversationally, his first words ever said in my direction.

Ah, one of my many aliases. The organization set it up so that whenever I’m on a case, I get a new name, past, and present. It’s very powerful. The organization can basically do anything it needs; it has people everywhere imaginable. I’m just one of many, though there aren’t that many at the top, as I am. They don’t trust many to be trackers. Or to be apprentices. All of the full members have the power, though we control others to get things done.

My smile deepens as I say in my authoritative, professional voice, “My real name is Jade. I am a witch of the moon and a tracker for the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. You are also a witch. We would like to formally welcome you into the organization as my apprentice. Here is my card for verification.”

Jade Wordsworth
Tracker for O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E
Official Political Understanding Lending ­Everyone ­Navigation for Co-Existing Ethereals
Office hours: 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon-Sat
Phone: 555-5555
Proud league of witches of the sun and moon.
Worldwide.

“What do you mean ‘moon and sun’? Or ‘tracker’?” he asks, still looking at my card like it’s going to ­disappear.

“Types of magic. Moon is all about spells, the sun is more potion-based, though each type of witchcraft involves the other somehow. As a tracker, I find people like you and I bring them to O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. Every witch must register, train, and become a member by law. In fact, the organization is like a government targeted toward witches,” I explain with a smile, loving the fact that this time I get to teach the newbie.

“Magic? Seriously?” he asks, eyes wide, meeting mine. They are large, yellow, and catlike.

I click a button on my left, automatically locking the doors. I put the car into drive, pulling out onto the road. As an afterthought I add as a courtesy, “I think you had better come with me.” .



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This article has 896 comments.


Blissless said...
on Feb. 26 2011 at 1:01 pm
Blissless, Milton, Vermont
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Kidnapping" is a strong word. I prefer "Surprise Adoption."

This is really good (: Although the whole "we've been watching you" thing is a bit cliche. And how did he know her alias? :( If you ever make a full novel of this though, I'd love to read it (:

MKimmi said...
on Feb. 26 2011 at 11:38 am
MKimmi, NY, New York
0 articles 0 photos 103 comments
I AGREE!!!!!

Chans247 GOLD said...
on Feb. 26 2011 at 2:29 am
Chans247 GOLD, Rosthern, Other
12 articles 6 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You could say this advice is priceless. Now...if you trust in yourself...believe in your dreams...and follow your star...you'll still get beaten by people who spend their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy." ~Discworld

It was a great story, but I think if you were to re-write it to give it more plot and explanation and then make in into a novel, it would be a lot better. But it was really good:)

on Feb. 21 2011 at 6:47 pm
callen16 BRONZE, Berwyn, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Really good... But it is a little confusing because you say the girl is young and cute but she is acting as though she's 70.  You also speed up the plot line at the end... When he jumps in the car it was really unexpected and an abrupt ending.

kjlaker22 said...
on Feb. 19 2011 at 5:28 pm
kjlaker22, Spring Lake, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
this is really good! i wish i could write like this...

on Feb. 10 2011 at 3:59 pm
Hawthorn BRONZE, Nowheresville, Maine
3 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Know Thy Enemy" Sun Tzu

Actually, to my eyes, theres a lot of potential. I've never read a story about secret agent like witches before! : ) But it would be better if there was more information and it was longer. It would make a great novel!

on Feb. 4 2011 at 9:30 pm
RainyWriter GOLD, Redmond, Washington
14 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
Only the smart, talented, amazing, and insane are remembered in history.

This is so good! Had me hooked. However, if this were elongated into a book it would feel less rushed and confusing. I'd buy a book like this if I saw it on a bookshelf at Borders, it has so much potential!

on Feb. 4 2011 at 1:03 pm
rylieriley BRONZE, Schuylkill Haven, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

i agree with it seeming kind of rushed. if this was an actual book and the events were more spread out it'd be awesome though!! :D

rissa_roo said...
on Feb. 4 2011 at 10:30 am
rissa_roo, West, Texas
0 articles 5 photos 19 comments

Actually, I agree with the well-placed "I guess"

There is a lot this story is lacking, even if it does have a good idea behind it. Scroll up and read the comment I posted. 

It needs more character developement and it seems slightly rushed. I've read better, but i'm not saying this is horrible either.

There's at least some potential. ;)


rissa_roo said...
on Feb. 4 2011 at 10:27 am
rissa_roo, West, Texas
0 articles 5 photos 19 comments

I kind of like the story. It's written well...  but...

It is very cliche.. I feel like I've read something EXACTLY like it before and I can't bring myself to read it openly. The job of an author is to make their story UNUSUAL.  Female heroine... witches and wizards...  an apprentice... Yes, we've ALL seen this before...

It's supposed to be YOUR job to put a.... how do i say....  Twist  on the story. Yes, you can still have the agent. The mystery. The magic.   But, you have to make it your OWN. Work more on character background and personality to start, and see where it goes from there. :)


on Feb. 4 2011 at 9:07 am
COURTNEEEEY. BRONZE, Limerick, Maine
3 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There ain't no troubles that we can't rise above, with a handful of faith and a heartful of love."- Tim McGraw, Carry On.

Great job! I loveeeeed it!! c:

on Jan. 27 2011 at 3:25 pm
Bookworm2010 SILVER, Riverside, California
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Lively of the mind."-Beautiful Creatures

Wonderful! Great story, keep writing!

on Jan. 20 2011 at 2:01 pm
alicabrera SILVER, Dexter, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments
very good!!!!

on Jan. 13 2011 at 3:47 pm
Ahrenzell BRONZE, Foxborough, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Possibility is no longer a factor. All that matters now is truth." - The Plague of Ahrenzell

Really nice!

If anyone would like to read either my poem or my two excerpts my novel, the feedback would be much appreciated :).


12ipark BRONZE said...
on Jan. 11 2011 at 3:44 pm
12ipark BRONZE,
4 articles 3 photos 1 comment

This is awesome :) 

write more please :) 


on Jan. 7 2011 at 11:58 am
Anonymousme GOLD, San Antonio, Texas
15 articles 2 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son so whoever believes in hill will not die but have eternal life.

Dreams are what make us who we are, a life without dreams is like a life without air.

THIS IS SO AMAZING!!! OH MY GOODNESS! Is there more?

on Dec. 23 2010 at 11:13 am
LaDyElFuNkOe SILVER, Male&#39, Other
5 articles 1 photo 12 comments

AWSERRRRRRMMMM!!!

keep it up!!!


ashleyr said...
on Dec. 22 2010 at 5:14 pm
ashleyr, Darien, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Time waits for no one.

this story has absolutely great suspense! as i was reading i couldn't stop wondering why she was tracking him i love love love this. if you were to ever make this into a book it'd be a best seller :)

on Dec. 22 2010 at 1:50 pm
sammyxochaos SILVER, Central Falls, Rhode Island
8 articles 0 photos 3 comments
good story :) anyone wanna read mine? lol

leafy said...
on Dec. 22 2010 at 8:53 am
you "guess" that its interesting!? are you kidding me? this story is amazing!