I remember those spring nights at the old spruce tree, you al-ways brought an extra jacket, because I always got cold. The truth is, I was never cold, and I only wanted you to hold me with those strong comforting arms and ask me if I wanted to go home. I loved telling you that “I didn’t care how cold it was as long as I was with you”, then you would kiss me and I would laugh because I loved it so much. It amazes me about how much I loved you, and how much you loved me. You never cared about any of my many flaws, or my constant fumbling, you looked past all that, you seen the person I was deep down inside. The only thing I regret is not telling you how much I actually loved you. We spent every night together, when the night was over and you dropped me off and kissed me good-night, I would run up to my room and write down every detail. Everything was great until that fateful day; it was the worst day of my life. He promised that he would always love me. He said I had a special place in his heart. I believed him, I always be-lieved him. His mom phoned me, she told me that he had gone. I was confused; I didn’t know what she was saying. I couldn’t breath. I vaguely remember being at the hospital, the nurses doing different types of tests, pricking me with needles, and constantly writing down everything. My mom was there; she never left my side. When I was fully awake I asked my mom why I was here. She said I had a nervous breakdown and I couldn’t take the news. I couldn’t remember what the news was but didn’t bother to ask, seeing on how that is what caused me to be here, I didn’t think I was suppose to know at that time. I got out a couple of weeks later. I wasn’t the same; I could feel the difference in my life, as if something was missing, some-thing important. I was told to go get ready to go out, and I did. I was brought to a small church. I seen bradens parents car there. We went inside and sat down on the first pew. A tall man in a black robe started talking and asked for the family to say a few words about him. His mother got a couple words in before she started crying his father walked her out. Then they asked personal friends to come up, my parents told me to go say something, so I did. I walked up to the little stand and started saying what came to mind when I thought about Braden.


“ Braden was the love of my life. He was the only person that I could talk to without worries. I loved everything about him, his smile, his laugh, his touch and his ability to see past your mistakes and flaws. He always told me he loved me, eve-ryday, he never missed a day. He never did anything to hurt me; he made sure of it. The last thing he had said to me was that he would always love me and that I always had a special place in his heart. I didn’t get the chance to tell him I loved him that day. And what is strange is that it was like he knew he was going to die, like he had an advanced warning or something.” At that moment I realized that Braden was gone, I knew what his mother had meant. I had awakened from what seemed to be a trance, only knowing what I wanted to know, only hearing what I wanted to hear, and only seeing what I wanted to see. I had realized that I would have to let go of my true love, my best friend and my whole life. As I looked out at the small crowd of people sitting in the church, a single tear trickled down my cheek. I saw his mother looking at me as if I had said some-thing, something so true and meaningful that she could no longer bear it. I tried to continue without crying. “ I know that Braden would want us to celebrate his life and not mourn his death. So I hope that you will try to remember all the good he done and forget all the bad.” I knew then that there would never be anyone like him in my life. I will never find that “one” guy that every girl dreams about because I had already found him then lost him.