June 8th, 1987



The waves hit the shore softly, sweeping away the remnants of fading dust; a tenor of frothy white dancing in sync to its beautifully composed melody. A widespread of complimentary hues; blue, purple, and orange filled the perpetual sky as the sun slowly bent down to kiss the earth goodbye.

How can something so beautiful remain so oblivious to the entire world?

I let out a long exasperated sigh as I glanced over to my best friend who was sitting next to me on the course russet colored sand. A fixed expression was evident on his features, illuminated by an orange vibrant glow aw the rays of the descending sun fell upon him. His eyes appeared distant; liquid chocolate becoming mosaic as the radiating hues of suffocating warmth glistened within his irises. My eyebrows furrowed in complete perplexity, since knowing him for fourteen years now, I could tell when something was on his mind. “James.” I whispered quietly, my voice cracked slightly as the letters became fragmented pieces on the tip of my slurred tongue.

His head snapped over to me, the sudden movement causing me to jump slightly as his eyes stared into my own with a hint of uncertainty reflected in the light.

“Is something wrong?” I questioned already knowing that his answer would be ‘yes’, but just by force of habit asked it.

He let out a long deep breath, taking his gaze off of me to look back as the sun continues to fall into the embrace of darkness..

“Promise me something.” he said lowly, his words fading into the grasp of the wind’s careless whispers as they drifted into an infinite void.

I nodded slightly , feeling my hair make a feeble attempt to fight against the salty breath of the ocean air; a current of sweet caramel as it twisted and turned in a heavenly bliss.

James bent his head, his black hair overshadowed his face like torn black feathers plucked from a fallen angel.

“Promise me…” he began, his faltered words became tangled lullabies , as pallid fingers played with the black frayed fabric of his fingerless gloves.

“Promise me that no matter what, we’ll stay friends”

“James why-”

“Please!”

He abruptly turned , his voice rising to the edge of it’s peak as the waves woke from their silent slumber; spasms of violent upturns of twisted and contorted pain as the incubus grasped hold of their decaying dreams.

“Please…just promise me.” he beseeched, desperation calling forth an ethereal light as he began falling deeper into the arms of sorrow.

His stare was intense as clear transparent liquid eclipsed his mind and divulged the deception of his heart; an insinuation of written out lies in form of a poetic tragedy.

“I promise..” the words appeared distant, almost broken as if belonging to a mere theory of a disembodied reality.

His arms embraced protectively around me deriving from a constant fear as the cascading black fell upon us; suffocating the flinting glimpses of light.

“Thank you” he whispered in my ear, sending spasms of shivers trailing down my back as his fingers grazed over the thin black fabric of my shirt; emitting a disarray of fluttering butterflies with graceless wings inside my stomach.

With averted eyes the world turned away as it succumbed to the disillusioned dreams, that vanished within the fading hymns of requiem.





July 10th, 1993



An overcastting incandescent solace filled the perpetual azure sky; a depicted illusion of marred beauty as flickering glimpses of light emitted through the bowed heads of viridian green hues. The limbs of the tress spiraled upward, graceless motions like entwined hands, embracing the radiating suffocating warmth of the abiding goodbye kiss of the sun. Disarrayed secrets swayed softly within the rhythm of the wind; a flurry of careless whispers amid disenchanted dreams.

I’ll keep your memory vague, so you won’t feel bad about me.

Melodious lullabies resonated within her ears, filled with a frenetic emotional upsurge of lyrical passion; destined to reawaken distorted and decaying memories. Her reflection stared back at her she stared at her as she gazed at the scene before her; hazy ominous shades of sheltered nights and October skies. Flittering tress passed by like fragmented pieces of time-elapsed film, stitched links of etched desperation as they followed the motions of the New Jersey Transit.

“Next Stop, Newark.”

The automated voice responded by impulse, an instantaneous notion lacking the fervor to deliver lost souls to their anticipated destinations. Her hair shifted slightly to the side, revealing a pallid complexion from gelid temperatures of autumn’s touch; soft black wisps fell down like cascading streams of abysmal darkness. Fringed laces came into contact with the maroon colored carpet, the odd ends clashing with self-induced memories as she maneuvered beneath the worn-out black and white converse.

Apocalyptic chaos broke through as multitudes stumbled upon themselves to reach the sheltered protection of sanctuary; a fraudulence of disembodied truths as the demons began eating away contorted visions. Pressed bodies surrounded her as she shouldered her way through the mass confusion, a selected invisible outcast dresses in forsaken colors like graffiti decorations under a sky of dust. The soles of her shoes scuffed against the floor as the struck checkered linoleum tile, echoing steps laid defeated under billowing noise; a symphony to the unwanted, to the few who embellished the world in creative unspoken artwork.

“Evelyn!”

Her head snapped to the side, frantically searching for the recognizable voice from memories of a fading past.

“Over here!” Two arms waved in the air in frenzied motions, as specters of etched December dreams stopped to stare.

Her heart nearly stopped, trembling pulses had succumbed to the deceitful truth, a will of greater power had befallen before them as both gazed into a recollection of shattered pieces surrendering to the past. His face glimmered within an ethereal light, a godsend blessing gleamed within silver wings of an undamaged beauty of a fallen angel while elegant brisk movements carried reflections of his heart. She felt the familiar fluttering wings within herself , the feverish warmth upon her skin perished as she was engulfed into the embrace of sweet winter’s breath.

“I missed you so much.” He whispered in her ear causing contortions to course throughout her body, a years worth of effects from love undying.

“I missed you too James.”

If only he really knew…
Degraded dreams had her scarred, impressed marks of suffocation from weathered spirals as she grasped onto the figments of those belonging to a chimera. Feelings that were aimed for eradication remained untouched in hope that forever could in fact be a possibility, rather than a mere distortion of reflected life.

“I still can’t believe you left.” the words left her mouth before she could suppress them into the unquiet silence. Tangled vines had taken hold of her heart, spilling the contents of her wounded soul, an enmity within herself caused from undecided decisions.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you….” He bit his lip in an ambivalent manner, the metal embedded at the edge, quivered as he contemplated something within his mind. “If I could take it all away, I would.” Reticent fingers grazed along the edges of her mouth with lingering sought out movements like traces from a painter’s brush strokes.

“James you don’t have to-”

Her words were discontinued, letters hung like loose strands from detached links as his lips collided against her own; a maelstrom of contorted violent passion, letting go of decomposing emotions from an overshadowing effect of six years. The world around them faded into complete oblivion, leaving both in an entranced state that could only happen within the deceptiveness of wanting dreams.

Crossed boundaries were broken as the invisible chains that kept them together became nothing more than supernatural strings covered in pixie dust. Their foreheads touched as they stared into their own reflections, consisting of flooding emotions from the broken frozen rivers impressed in their eyes.

“I’m sorry..” James said while he running his hands through the color of spilt ink of her hair.

“For what?”

“For saying that I can’t be with you”

Evelyn’s hands pushed him away, retreating back in her steps to a world composed of lonely memories from a part of the past that made her lay awake from wakeful dreams. Her expression was enough to give away the supplicating plea that was evident on her features.

His matted disheveled pitch black hair fell upon his face ,a tainted beauty of shadow of sorrow overpowered his ability to speak as he fixed his gaze upon the patterned lines of the tiled floor.

“I’m engaged..”
If you ever believe this is what you need, it will spin around and shatter, throw you to the floor.