“If that goat farts again I‘m going to kill myself,” said Tristan. Tristan and Stefan have been trapped in Mrs.Yen’s  garage for hours. Sadly her pet goat ,Miguel, was trapped with them (sadly for Stefan and Tristan, not  Miguel).

It all started in the morning, around eight o’clock, Stefan and Tristan were running around the neighborhood doing their usual shenanigans, which usually  involved prank knocking on peoples houses or climbing trees and jumping down to scare people walking by, but today they were passing around a football. 

“Go far Stef. This ones going to be a long one” shouted Tristan as he cocked his right elbow back with football in hand, ready to unleash a “bomber”(long, hard throw). Just about two seconds after the ball left his hand they looked at each other horrified. The ball flew towards Mrs.Yen’s garage, and penetrated a small window in the top right corner of the . Everything began to move in slow motion. Stefan could feel every little drop of sweat trickle down his forehead onto his neck, down through his shirt to his bare chest, past his left nipple. Stefan and Tristan have broken many windows before but this window was different. It belonged to Mrs.Yen. She is a very old and short Japanese woman, resembling Yoda in a way. No one knows much about her, only that she is very quiet and mysterious  which just makes the situation scarier. Tristan challenged him.

“ Stef, stop being a little weiner and go get it.” 

“Dude, that woman looks like a small, fat toad that eats people” replied Stefan.

“Ok, ok fine. Don’t do it.” Then Tristan faked a small choke
*cough*,” weiner,” *cough*.

“ Fine, lets come back later tonight and get it then”

“Agreed.”

Tristan and Stefan went off doing their own things for the rest of the day. Around eight o’clock they returned to the little patchy-grass yard in front of Mrs.Yens garage. Tristans dad allowed us to use his ladder because we “got our football stuck in a tree”. That was our cover up, but we needed it to climb up through the hole in the window we had created. As we leaned the ladder up Stefan went up the ladder first, in attempt to show Tristan he was not a ”weiner”. As he got to the hole he noticed that it wasn’t completely dark due to a small dim light in the corner of the , what seemed like, empty garage.  It also had this smell resembling his grandma’s farm back in Russia. But he spotted the football right dead in the center of the room. He climbed through the hole and jumped down into the garage. Since Tristan wasn’t the brightest he decided to follow Stefan and jump into the garage as well.
It was at this moment Stefan and Tristan realized they had screwed up. There was no way out of the garage because the hole was way too high up and the ladder was outside. Frantically, they began searching the garage for a ladder not even paying any attention to a small pile of hay laying in the very corner of the room.

“Bahhhhh”

Tristan stopped dead in his tracks and with eyes open wider than his mouth on taco night and said in a sheepish voice,”What was that…” Stefan was already trying to crack down on the thing that had produced the noise when all of a sudden the smell came. The smell Stefan and Tristan would remember forever. It smelled like old rotting animal crackers ( the small cookie ones from Ralphs sold in the spice section right next to the McCormick Parsley Flakes) . “ My eyes!” shrieked Stefan, trying to fight back tears . Then all of a sudden a goat , about the size of an average toilet, jumped out from under the hay and began running around the garage in a playful manner. The boys were stupefied. Their bottom jaws dropped to the floor as they stared at the goat run and run in circles. But then the smell came again.. At this point Tristan snapped out of his shock and threatened,”If that goat farts again I‘m going to kill myself.” After a good thirty seconds or so, the goat got tired and sat down about nine feet away from the boys. Tristan was trying to figure out how to get out of this gas chamber, while Stefan was in a trance with the goat. Something in the back of his head kept saying,” Touch it. Come on Stefan. Just touch it already. Are you a weiner Stefan?” So that’s when he did it. He took a few step forward and reached out to touch the goat.
Right as the base of his palm slowly skimmed the goats head there was a small noise coming from underneath the hay pile. Then it came again, the smell. But it wasn’t coming from the goat, it was coming from under the hay. Tristan , due to going  back in shock at the sight of Stefan touching the goat, didn’t notice the noise coming from the hay. Just as Stefan got up to try and get Tristan out of shock, something popped up from under the hay. It was Mrs.Yen. She was the one. She had been farting all along. Stefan and Tristan couldn’t help but feel bad about blaming the goat for the terrible smell. ”Get your hands off of Miguel you past!” she said in a loud and horrific way.” I.. I am sorry ma’am.. We just wanted..,” Stefan had to think about what the had come for in the first place because he had totally forgotten. But before he had time to fully explain himself Mrs. Yen leaped onto Stefan and began licking face. These weren’t ordinary licks. They were the long, hard ones you give the huge lollipops from Chuck E Cheese. But something about the whole situation felt wrong or unreal to Stefan.   
~~~
Stefan woke up in his room. His dog, Wrinkle, was  sitting on his chest licking his face.The whole thing was a dream.
*Briinnggggg* *Briinngggg*

Then his phone rang. It was Tristan.

”Dude it’s eight. Lets go get the football from Mrs.Yen’s garage.”

“Ummmm. I think it would be better if I just get you a new football”
“Are you sure man?”

“Yup.”

“Aight, I’ll catch up with you later.”

Some part of Stefan knew it wasn’t just a dream but an auspice. Then the strangest thing happened. He had this sudden urge to have animal crackers...